How many times have you been sipping Romulan ale out of a juice cup and wishing that you had some proper wine glasses? You know, with the Federation logo emblazoned on them. You know that Scotty would have a pair of these at the ready in his quarters.

Only $18 on Etsy. On one hand you are a true geek, but on the other, you will now have the proper glass from which to drink alcohol. Live long and prosper, while drinking up this holiday season.

Drinking wine depends on wine openers. How are you going to drink your sweet booze if you forget the wine opener? Well if you own the Waring Pro Cordless Wine Opener, it’s all good. This gizmo costs $45 and fetures a rubberized body with brushed stainless accents. Plus, it’s powered by a rechargeable NiMH battery pack, so it doesn’t need to be confined to just the kitchen.

You also get a rechargeable base unit, with removable foil cutter. It has you covered no matter how pickled your liver is, as it will open 80 natural corks on a single charge. If that isn’t enough then you are too drunk to care anyway.

Homer understands you. He also has the desire to drink heavily. And like you, he prefers beer, so that when confronted with a bottle of wine, he has no idea how to open it. Well, now the two of you can team up and open bottles together.

The Homer Simpson corkscrew looks just like homer. His arms will hold the bottle snug while you twist his bald head to insert the corkscrew. After that it’s just lift the bottle and drink. Glasses are for suckers. Like Flanders.

What if, every time we bought something, that item’s packaging could be re-used as another product? That way, we give the landfills a bit of a break. That’s the idea behind this Cava wine bottle packaging by Spanish design firm Ciclus.

Just drink up all of your wine from the bottle contained inside, and the outer layer of the packaging turns into this cool looking lamp. It’s a win win. In the package, you also get the fixture and bulb that you’ll need to complete your new cool lamp.

Because of a new EU trade rule, wineries aren’t allowed to use the word “port” on their label unless the wine was actually made in Portugal. Which sucks for some wine makers. But California’s Peltier Station Winery came up with a unique loophole. They are calling their new dessert wine “USB” and they’ve even put a tree with USB roots on the label. That’s what I call sticking it to the man! The man being the EU. The fun doesn’t end there however.

A company called 6 West Design made the label and they did something special with the USB-tree on the front. It’s is made of binary code that translates to “Peltier Station.” There are also some fill-in-the-blanks on the back of the label like “an im____ant agreement” or “in your ____folio.” This my friends is how you screw the powers-that-be, instead of them screwing you.

Wine connoisseurs will tell you that you have to store wine at the correct temperature. You can’t just throw it in your fridge. Plus you probably shouldn’t drink it straight from the bottle or serve it in a cup that has a cartoon character. You should store it and serve it in style. That’s where Skybar comes in.

It’s a “Wine Preservation and Optimization System”, that houses three chilled chambers to serve three seperate wines. A small LCD displays the temperature and you can even choose from nine preset chilling options. The device also features vacuum technology that helps to preserve wine for 10 days without any change in taste. It will even pour it for you. It will cost you $1,000, so I imagine some of you will stop reading now and go drink from the bottle.

Almost anything drinkable is or has been available in can form. Wine may be next thanks to Swedish designers Jens Andersson and Jonas Forsman who have made their recyclable wine cans slightly resemble a wine bottle.

The prototypes are available for any wine companies that want to take the plunge and enter a bold new mode of distribution. They haven’t had any luck so far. Probably because the elite don’t want others to think that they are drinking some low-class carbonated beverage. How appalling.