This is just what you need for Christmas. A cat USB hub. It will charge up your gadgets with precious kitty spinal fluid. And if you don’t want to perform a USB spinal tap, there’s another port in it’s mouth.

It will spend it’s 9 lives on your desk with it’s head down in shame as you shamelessly suck it’s meow meow power. You can get it wholesale. Your real cat will not be amused.

This concept Motorola handset likes like a kick-ass robot Hello Kitty demon that has arisen from the ashes of it’s own hell-fire. It’s here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. It’s all out of bubble gum.

Take this Hello Kitty fans. This thing will kick your thing’s ass. It will eat Hello Kitty, poop her out and repeat the process all over again. It features a very limited button selection, camera, color screen, and hiding feature. It’s the “Cute Phone!”. I don’t know about that, but it’s pretty damn freaky. And I hope to God it can help rid our world of Hello Kitty. Pray with me.

There must be something in the water over at Disney. Either that or they pass around a crack pipe at meetings, between counting Mickey money and eating bits of Walt Disney’s remaining refrigerated flesh.

First there was the Stitch CD player. Creepy, but harmless really. Now they’re pimping out this $118 USB humidifier that looks like it will kill you with Stitch breath. $118? Really? The Stitch USB Humidifier projects a fog into the air, whether you give him a breath mint or not. Not sure where you pour in the water. Probably his butt. This thing just looks hungry. Hungry enough to kill you.

We’ve seen our share of useless gadgets, no question about it. They don’t get more useless then the USB volcano. I mean, they could have done something cool with this. How about a little diorama with some ancient civilization dropping a virgin or two into the thing? What about making it a real lava spewer(Okay, nothing harmful that will melt flesh) that’s also a bank, where you have to feed it coins so it doesn’t go all Krakatoa all over your desk? Or what about having a tiny remote control robot in the case with the volcano that you can send in and get readings like a real science kind of deal?

But no. No, sadly this craptastic gadget is just a volcano with plastic lava beads that erupt out of the water-filled desktop toy. And you even have to provide the water. $18 if you are actually impressed.

This is the kind of phone that will appeal to two types. Women who have closets full of way too expensive shoes, and those who have a foot fetish. Of course they made it pink. Women love pink right? Just like they love high heel shoes. No doubt made by a man, but pink enough for a woman. You freaky shoe/foot fetishists will enjoy caressing it and rubbing it all over your face, even licking it’s length. Which is disturbing to the rest of us, so please stop. But if you must, the price is $22. Just realize that pink shoe phones are not acceptable to society.

Is it just me or would anyone be a little weirded out by these shower companion things? One looks like a pink female body which isn’t too bad, but the next one in line is kinda bowing down like he’s gonna finish you off. The strange blue blob starfish thing makes me want to get out of the shower real quick and so does the Panda. I would just like to shower in peace thank you.

The panels are created by an Italian company called Colacril and they will add a splash of…something to your decor. Maybe fear or paranoia. I don’t see much showertime fun here. The last thing I need while taking a shower is some Panda staring at me as if my man parts are bamboo. I’m old fashioned that way.

What can you say about a paddle that will inflict not only pain but brand others with Apple’s logo? We aren’t all born with the mark ya know. This device is great for so many reasons. If you’re an Apple hater, you can run around Zorro style and give those iPhone users the what for with a good smack. If you love Apple, you may want to brand even your girlfriend with the famous logo for some reason, though you will surely pay dearly.

It’s also a great way to incorporate your love of gadgetry into some of your questionable bedroom activities. Hey, I’m not judging. Of course, it’s created from a ping pong paddle and a stencil. Hell have your own Mac/Apple cult, wearing black robes. Smack! “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

Some find Pikachu to be extremely cute. Me, I’ve always been on the fence about that. What you will see in the 2 accompanying videos, knocked me off the fence and made me run for my life. This is not cute. It’s creepy in the way that clowns are creepy.

That spiky cyborg Pikachu seems to be the ringleader and was apparently recently assimilated into the Pikachu collective. As for the rest of them and the music they make together, complete with seizure inducing flashing eyes… I just wish I had never seen it. This is just totally warped. And yet you can’t look away.

In the days of sailing the open seas, walking the plank, and sanding your peg-leg by hand, it was all the rage to have a bird on your shoulder. These days it’s frowned upon for some reason. That’s where the Birdcage backpack comes in.

You and your feathered friend can journey through the world together once again and leave a trail of bird droppings smell everywhere you go, while he makes snide comments. And if you have a hook hand and peg-leg it really makes a statement.

Okay, here’s marketing 101. Let’s say you have something crappy that won’t sell to the public. What do you do? Answer: Use the Star Wars angle. Let’s say you have a round ball of wood, a long black blob and a brown furry…something. Call them Darth Vader, Chewbacca and the Death Star. Now they’ll sell to geeks who have more income then they do common sense.

These designs by Benjamin Males are “The Singer, The Drummer and The Dreamer”. Huh? Who is who? The Singer has five keys and is “influenced by classical instruments such as the Violin…and is created from solid Cherry wood. It is made using 5 Axis CNCing, which enables a smooth spiral to be ‘carved’ into the cherry.” Whatever. The Drummer loops drum-beats, creating rhythm in the musical composition. Influenced by African drums such as the Djembe, the Drummer will also throw off a secondary percussive sound when you tap the flat section. Again whatever.

With our lives being so hectic, it’s hard to de-stress. Which is probably why we turn to the computer to help us. After all, that’s where many of us spend large amounts of time. The Sweety concept will help. Or so they claim. Personally, I don’t see how.

This thing looks like Kenny from South Park. After he died and attained ghostly form. Now on a flowery surf board. He’s come back not to haunt, but to calm you via graphic patterns on the screen under his hood. Apparently Sweety can also play interactive games with you as you manipulate its soft body by squeezing. That aint right at all.

If you like to stand out in a crowd, these pig earphones from Greenhouse are the perfect way to get some attention. One of your ears will look like a pig is diving in, while the other ear will look like it’s flying out after having devoured your brain. Perfect for farmers, and pig owners. I can’t think of anyone else who would want to use these.

They’re codenamed ‘GH-ERC-PIG’ for some insane reason and they come in three colors. Pink, white and black. The little pigs have an output of 10mW, impedance of 16Ω and a frequency response of 20Hz-20,000Hz. They will go on sale later this month in Japan for $12.

This isn’t the first bike for two, but on those bikes the riders are generally both facing forward. No, the Bi-Cycle is making a different statement. It speaks of so many relationships today.

Couples who are together, but drawn apart. Those who stay together, even though they are headed in opposite directions. Or, just maybe, they cant stand the site of each other at this point. I’m thinking this bike could be either very therapeudic, or simply distance you further. In the end, this bike will have you both in the hospital, or in the morgue, so I guess the point is moot.

Mark of the beast or a light-side prophecy fulfilled? I guess that depends on your perspective. My guess is this kid is going to grow up and battle to take his rightful place at the head of the company. Apple will just laugh as the kid shows them his birthmark and claims that he’s on a mission from God. A bunch of biblical stuff will go down, some floods, a plague. That’s when they’ll learn he aint messing around and they’ll give him the job, ushering in a new era of Apple products. Why do you think Steve Jobs was looking so thin recently? He’s stressed. Scared. Not eating. He knows what’s coming.

This odd mic is blue, with 2 big ears, which is creepy enough, but the most disturbing thing in conjunction with those features is the lack of any face at all. The ears are supposed to capture sound in stereo just like human ears. At least that’s the idea. Problem is your subject will be so freaked out, they’ll be running in the opposite direction.

The other problem is the price. The Binaural Recording Mic from Otokinoko retails for $3,900. That’s a lot to pay to look like a dork. There is one upside to using this strange device though. If you’re filming in some remote jungle and you meet up with a hostile tribe, just grab this baby, hold it up high and they’ll be worshipping their new God.