I have seen some weird things pop up for sale online, but typically, the major retailers like Sears stay away from anything that might be controversial typically. Sears has a new body pillow for sale that has boobs. The pillow is called the DeluxeComfort.com Girlfriend Body Pillow.

The pillow has a pair of boobs and an arm to wrap around your neck. I guess this would be perfect for the geek who has no girlfriend but wants to feel like they do. I am sure buying this pillow will mean you will never have a real girl though.

Changing radio channels is like racing with this Gear Shift Radio. It’s designed to look like a car’s gear system and requires that you shift gears in order to control the radio, thereby adding some unnecessary work to what would otherwise be an enjoyable listening experience.

No drivers license required, but you do need some AAA batteries. The Gear Shift FM Radio will cost you $24. Now maybe you can get a dashboard display to go with it.

Are you having a bad day? Need a hug? But wait, hugs mean germy people and you don’t need to get sick. Plus, maybe the only other people around are your guy friends and guy hugs aren’t manly. What do you do? Well, there’s the Hug-E-Gram.

If you need love, you can wear it around your waist or torso, and wait for your friends to send you a personalized message with the hug. Forget human contact. Who needs it? It will cost you $29, which seems expensive for hugs, but hey, at least you’ll be getting a hug.

Solid Alliance’s new earbuds have some weird designs that will certainly get you noticed in public. On the other hand they will go with your weird Halloween costume perfectly. These new earbuds feature a banana, a cat’s paw print, sushi, or a Frankenstein’s monster type bolt.

You can pre-order now for $22 and they ship in December. Do you have the guts to stuff such things in your ear? If so, you are braver than I.

This Alien hanging lamp is pretty creepy. Is it an alien disguised as sperm, or sperm disguised as an alien. Either way, it isn’t a clever disguise. Who wants to sit at a table under sperm suspended from the ceiling? No one wants a sperm attack when eating a little dinner or just chillin’ with friends.

The lamp is described like so. It’s “organic shape is reminiscent of a strange, otherworldly creature sliding down a rope, gently and almost weightlessly radiating a warm and graceful light”. Whatevs. Call it what you want. This is dinner by spermlight. If you dig the design, these will cost you a totally reasonable $529.

You’ve experienced Flashdance. You were enthralled by Riverdance. You were captivated by dancing with the stars. Now experience the latest dance sensation. The dancefloor: Your alarm clock. The dancers: Your fingers.

It’s time to dress up your digits and have your friends judge the dance routines as you take your clock by storm with the Finger Dance Alarm Clock. This clock will keep ringing unless your fingers are able to hit the correct sequence as depicted by the lights.

You spend your days wishing and dreaming about new Apple products if you’re an Apple fanboy. The best way to insure that those wishes aren’t just floating aimlessly into the ether, is to get a plush Jobs. He will hold all of your wishes and desires as you snuggle him close. Don’t worry, his stubble isn’t scratchy.

And the next time some gadget blog disses Apple, just whisper sweet nothings to your little plush buddy(In between defending your Mac’s prowess in the comment section) and he will use his otherworldly voodoo mojo to silence those critics. The 17 inch doll is the perfect size to upset your wife as it sleeps between you both. Or if not married, he’ll be your surrogate wife.

If you see this thing suddenly appear in your living room, it might be a good idea to run. It wants to assimilate all of your Sony products. This nightmare-inspired mechanical heart is starring in a new series of Sony ads that will air during England’s World Cup qualifying campaign on ITV.

It’s built by special effects house Artem and consists of all kinds of Sony gear, with parts from BRAVIA TVs, Blu-ray players, VAIO laptops, Cybershot cameras, PS3s etc. Once it has absorbed enough Sony items, it will use it’s new powers to lower the price of the PS3 and lay the smack down on some Xbox 360 fanboys.

Are your walls paper thin? Driving the family crazy with your voice? Is your singing voice causing your pets to moan and drop dead? No worries. This microphone peripheral named “Urusakunai Kara OK!” (Not Noisy Kara OK!) lets Wii owners sing their hearts out in Hudson’s Karaoke JOYSOUND Wii game.

The Wii is known for weird peripherals, but this may be the strangest yet. You may be singing into it, but it looks like you are getting gassed at the dentist’s office in the 60′s.

What the #%$$@ was the manufacturer thinking? There is no scenario in which this USB hub is even remotely normal on your desk. I guess if you like to torture cows by sticking flash drives in them, you might take a shine to it, but mostly it’s just wrong.

I guess it could have been worse. The cow could be standing and have a bunch of flash drives as udders. Maybe you have to coax them in so it looks like you’re milking the beast. Damn. I think I just gave them another idea. Seriously old Bessie here looks like she’s begging for a bullet to put her out of her misery. Poor thing.

Now here’s an entertaining 8 minute video that will have you thanking god you didn’t work for the big N in 1991. I can’t imagine being made to actually watch this stuff because it was my job. It’s a customer service training video that shows employees how to handle all kinds of customers who want to return merchandise and also happen to be stereotypes.

You’ll see a bald dude try to get his money back for an NES that’s encrusted all over with some sort of mega-funk that makes it stick to the employee’s hands, a nerd that can’t work a gameboy and some nice lady who learns how to plug the controller into port 1 and likes to bake pies as thank you currency.

The Kyocera NS01 is not the best and most powerful phone available right now, but what it lacks in power, it makes up for in cutting edge geek fashion. The handset features an integrated belt, so it will hold up your pants while taking a call.

The NS01 features a 2.8 QVGA Screen, a 1.97MP camera, and e-wallet. Hey, at least you won’t lose your phone if it’s attached to your pants. There isn’t a ton of info, but I’m assuming it can detach easily while it is acting as a belt, because otherwise things could get comical real quick. Like if your friend needs to use your phone in an emergency, you would want to be able to quickly detach it. Because one guy on his knees, talking to someone in your crotch area in public doesn’t look good. It also doesn’t look good if you walk around hunched over talking to your own belt buckle as you try to pull it closer to no avail.

Meet Cyber Fox. You get to decapitate him every time you use your flash drive and shove his lifeless body into your laptop. It will serve as a good warning to all of those other cute and furry critters out there. Great for the dude with the anger problem. Might be therapeutic to use this thing whenever you get mad.

It would be pretty funny to see some guy get all agro and give a grunt as he rips this fox’s head off, flings it across the room and jams the body in the USB port. Just repeat, whenever you get mad. Sadly this fox doesn’t even look like the Firefox fox, or it might be cool.

Something caused this wind turbine in the UK to break. It could have been any of a million things, all very rational. But residents of the village of Conisholme, in Lincolnshire are having none of that. They know that aliens did it. And they don’t need any stinkin’ Men In Black, Mulder & Scully, Leonard Nimoy, Agents from Majestic or Alien corpses to prove it.

They claim that they saw bright lights in the sky “like an octopus’ tentacles” right around the time that the blades were damaged. Others claim that the damage was the result of a “cow-sized ice chunk” and even a “robot stealth bomber” was blamed. According to The Guardian, the mysterious lights were most likely from fireworks being shot off for one of their 80 year old residents. But what are you going to believe, something rational, or stories about aliens in robot stealth bombers?

Colonoscopies are not fun. They require nakedness with another man in the room(meaning your doctor). Even if you have a female doc, that’s just as bad. It’s all like a strange consensual alien abduction, only your memory isn’t erased. Sadly, they’re very necessary and can detect and prevent colon cancer. But there has to be a better way.

Wait. There is. Just do the procedure yourself with this harmless looking gadget that bears a lightning bolt and the name of a crap beer. A few beers before hand might be a good idea, before you get all up in your own business. And hey, you’ll feel better about it since you can use this thing in all kinds of dark tight places, not just your fat can.