Withings just announced that the world’s first WiFi-enabled bathroom scale is making its way to the States after a few months in leaner countries. It’s ready to be jumped on and broken in two, but it will try it’s best to stand up to your fast food loving girth.

When you stand on it, the scale automatically records your body weight, lean and fat mass and calculates your body mass index (BMI) to a secure webpage. If you prefer to use your iPhone, it will do the same with a Withings iPhone app. Will this be the trick to that long elusive svelte physique you’ve been wanting?

And you thought that the velcro on your jacket was impressive. These Velcro fasteners were made by German engineers and can withstand 35 tons of force. Needless to say, these aren’t for your clothes. One side has spikes and the other has steel brushes, so it’s just like real velcro. It can also withstand heat of up to 800 degrees Celsius.

And if you tear these Velcro strips vertically, where it’s stronger, it can hold up to 7 tons. We aren’t sure how much of this stuff it actually takes to support that much weight, but it’s pretty amazing anyway. Especially when you consider that just like everyday Velcro, it can be opened up without specialized tools and used again.

The Withings scale has a sleek and stylish look along with WiFi functionality. The latter will beam your weight and body fat measurements to a web dashboard that can be accessed using a free iPhone app. This way you can track your measurements to help motivate yourself.

It even has “ideal” values that you can try to live up to. Somehow, we think that if you are not motivated enough get fit without this thing, than this isn’t going to do much except get you down. And at $183, it’s hard to get motivated to even buy this.

You knew it had to happen. They actually intend to make us do serious exercise with this Wii-Fit thing. A patent-pending peripheral called “riiflex” will turn your Wiimotes into dumbells thanks to some 2lb and 5lb cases. The design is pretty interesting. These even feature a trigger port for access to all the Wiimote’s buttons.

They are available for preorder deposit. While the price is still undecided, they estimate that these weights will cost you around $30 per unit. I’m sure they are already planning a way to include the nunchuk. One question. Do serious weight-lifting meatheads even use the Wii?

Scales come in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes they are on your mouse. Sometimes they are on a chair. And sometimes they can be found on a toilet seat.

Which makes sense. Losing weight is hard. It might help motivate you, if you can see visually just how much you lose on the old John. Because we all know we lose some weight on the throne. Now it’s time to see just how much. Judging by that rabbit-thing’s reaction, it seems that he/she has just pinched a weighty loaf.

This weight seat is great for those who have taken an interest in their weight, but not so much interest that they need to stand up and walk to the scale. Also great for eating meals and literally watching the pounds add up. It’s probably also good for video game players who don’t have the Wii, but think that their games can really get them in shape. Just sit on your butt, button-mash as you frag enemies and keep looking down. I’m sure you’ll see some results eventually. It was designed by Atypyk design studios and sadly I think it would be a real hit with many large mammals.

Geek or not, if there’s one thing we all have plenty of it’s Cds. And if you want some exercise, but don’t happen to have any dumbbells around, just create your own with all of those CDs collecting dust. The one pictured is 10lbs. All you need are 150 CDs, a threaded rod and bolts and you’ve got a 10 pound weight. The rest is up to you my flabby friend. This should give you an idea of what mailmen had to go through back when all those AOL CDs were arriving at your house. Sure some got all muscular, but others threw out their backs.

The Overall Health Balance Scale from Japan’s National Electric takes fitness feedback to a new level. The device hasn’t been released yet, and that may be due to the fact that it makes women look silly. Judging by the images, women have to pretend that they are piloting a plane while standing up. At the same time, it will help you avoid obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes.

It seemingly measures everything from weight and BMI, the amount of fat under your skin, organ fat, how muscular you are, and your metabolic rate. It takes all of the readings, then tells you how out of shape you are for your age on a scale of 1 to 5. If you want, put the sensor over your huge ass and see just how much junk is really in your trunk.

The pink angel of the apocalypse is at it again, still bent on world domination and bending young women to it’s will. But I have to say, if Hello Kitty is trying to win me over with the above pic, I’m nearly there, dorky belt and all. That’s because at first glance this device seems to rid well shaped women of their clothes, put a pink Wiimote in their hand and give her protective padding for the workout I have in mind. I’m obviously under the Kitty’s influence, so let’s move on.

This is the Hello Kitty Slender Shaper and claims to burn off fat from your midsection with a shaking action. And, as mentioned, comes with a Wiimote of sorts, so you can shake your groove thing faster or slower with just the push of a button. The entire package, with carrying case will cost about $127.52.

People hate stepping on their scale and having it tell them the honest to god facts about their weight. Women especially hate the evils of the scale. Well folks, this new device isn’t going to improve the scale’s image any.

I personally have never had any problem with the simple act of stepping on a scale and looking down at the numbers, but I can see how that might be a problem for some people, whether they are just cringing at the numbers or just can’t see past their enormous girth. I can only presume that this device is geared toward the latter. With this scale, you won’t have to try to circumvent your huge gut to get a look at the numbers. You can just read your weight by looking straight ahead at a remote.