I’m not sure if I could use this mouse. For one thing, the urge to pull the pin would be too great and I would be afraid of it going off in my hand since it was apparently made from an old grenade casing. Though I suppose it’s more likely to kill your wrist with it’s anti-ergonomics.

The guy who modded it even wired up the trigger as the left mouse button. It might be good for those with sensitive data on their computer though. If you have the need, just pull the pin and run, hopefully blowing the hell out of everything. War, huh, good god yo, what is it good for? Absolutely nothin’ ‘cept for making a mouse. Sing it with me.

Whether you’re an off duty Ninja just staying out of the rain, or that guy from the Avengers, the Umbuster umbrella should keep you protected by giving you a pair of brass knuckles. Even though these aren’t brass. Instead you have a choice of wood or aluminum finish.

I’m not sure how easy it is to hit another guy with the bottom part of an umbrella while open though. Wouldn’t you hit yourself with the top part as you swung at your enemy? I would recommend this for little old ladies. They need to protect themselves, plus they just plain love hitting people with purses and stuff. You can get the Umbuster in October for about $330.

Some things are just plain wrong and twisted. Like this knife. As soon as this WASP knife stabs you, it injects frozen gas into your guts that will expand and blow you up from the inside. It was originally designed to help hunters neutralize huge animals quickly, but it now turns out that humans could potentially be the animals neutralized.

British police are said to be on the lookout for this knife even though the website states that “the company does not condone killing of innocent creatures”. I think the moral of the story is this: If you see a knife run…If you see a knife with buttons, run like hell.

Tony Montana would love to have this phone on his desk. It also makes a great gag gift for your other “business associates”. It’s the phone to use when you mean business. This phone says, I may not be sure who is going to get whacked tonight, but somebody’s going in the river, so let’s lighten the mood a bit as I take this call on my gun.

The telephone is built into the grip of the gun and has an on/off switch near the trigger. It also has a headset jack. You listen and talk by placing the gun to your head, so it’s a better gag if you tell your friend to answer it as you put it to their head. Keeps him honest, ya know.

Man, when I was a kid I had all kinds of mildly illegal fun with slingshots. These days, the slingshot seems to have been forgotten, which is a shame because it’s a good weapon. It was the weapon of choice for Dennis the Menace.

Until now that is. Like everything else, the slingshot has now had an upgrade. If I were a kid again, I’d definitely use one of these Ringshots. Instead of holding a Y-shaped weapon, this slingshot slips on your index finger and thumb. Not sure about pricing and availability, but I am sure it’s all kinds of evil fun.