The human race has a ton of junk. The discarded excrement of all of our endeavors. It goes in landfills, sits around our homes and in general clutters up our lives. What do you do with all of that junk? Play with it of course. In this case UK artist Sandy Smith used hundreds of old PC’s to create a wall-sized gradient effect that mimics a “sunset” emanating from their monitors. Pretty neat stuff. Imagine all of the other things we could do with junk PC’s. I wonder if you could tan people using old monitors. Or would that be unsafe? Any volunteers? Pretty ones?

Humanity has accomplished some amazing things by combining virtual reality with plain ole reality. This is not one of those things. This is something designed to give randy nerds a few cheap thrills. The idea is that if you can’t find a girlfriend, Alice will take a shot at being the object of your affections.

It’s called “Dennou Figure ARis”, or “Cyber Figure Alice” in plain English. Buyers get the AR software, 2 cybersticks and 2 cybercubes. Place one of the cubes in front of the computer, point your webcam at it and the screen will display a 3D image of Alice standing on top of the cube. Here’s where your cybersticks come in handy. You’ll use them to touch, caress, fondle and peep at your new lady. Fear not, you can of course even undress Alice and change her clothes.

Apparently all the good and handsome men are taken in Japan. I guess that’s why Japan’s women are finding romance with this virtual man called the “Handsome Man Bank”.

It comes in girl-friendly pink or white, with an LCD display that will show 5 handsome men. It costs about $50 and he’s a player alright. A real smooth guy with lines like “Can I kiss you?” or “May I rub your shoulders?” But at the end of the day he’s all talk, leaving some longing and needful Japanese women all hot and bothered. Should have come with another accessory for this phase I guess.

If you like the Full Swing Golf simulator, but don’t want to tear up your home, this is the way to go. All you need is a yard large enough to park this eyesore in. Like other simulators, it uses a projection screen along with a motion sensors that will detect the motion and speed of the ball. That info is then put on screen and you can watch the result on a 3D course.

Apparently, it only works with woods and irons, so you’ll still suck at putting. They say that the inflatable structure is weatherproof so you could even play in nasty weather. Your neighbors will probably wonder why you vanish inside an inflatable house every afternoon. Nosy bastards.

It can be lonely being a geek. So it’s easy to understand why Drew Burrows created INBED, which is essentially an interactive virtual girlfriend. Just climb into bed with her, and she’ll snuggle up against you. If you lie on your side, she’ll even spoon. Sad thing is, she sleeps fully dressed and she’s only two dimensional, existing only because she is projected from the ceiling.

Infrared sensors watch you in the bed, altering the projection accordingly. She can even react to kisses buy burying her virtual face in a virtual pillow. Cute. But will this satisfy the geek or make him long even more for a real live woman? I don’t know, but your Star Wars toys in the corner aren’t helping.

If you like the idea of an ant farm, but don’t like the idea of all those ants stuck in a prison for your amusement, this is for you. This is not for those who like to burn ants with a magnifying glass. The Ants Life Studio from Bandai is a colony of virtual ants who go about their daily lives, digging virtual tunnels, collecting virtual food and even fending off attacks from enemies.

The monochrome LCD display has an electroluminescent backlight so you can watch your ants even at night. That might be a bit obsessive of you, but hey who am I to judge. It also includes a clock and calendar function to keep you tehered to the real world.

GestureTek is planning to unveil a prototype “Wii-LIKE GAME STICK” this week at the 2008 Toy Fair in New York. It uses a camera to detect 3D position and motion. With the technology being camera-based, players are able to see their real-time, full-body image on screen as they control 3-D simulations and interact with characters and other objects. Your body motion controls the program, for a more virtual experience.

On a creepy note, GestureTek says that it can even vision-equip dolls, stuffed animals or robots. You know, so they can …

Apparently cell phone kissing is a hot activity in Japan. I had no idea. The kiss phone makes it easier to kiss your loved one from a distance via mobile. This isn’t just video and making loud smoochie sounds either, the kiss phone from PROinvention can detect the intensity of the kiss. It senses not only the pressure you use, but also the heat of your lips and how hard you press or suck. (I’d say you suck pretty hard if you buy this phone)

Warning: Creepy territory ahead. Your partner, who also obviously has a Kiss Phone, just presses their lips against the fake plastic mouth of the phone…and they will feel the partner’s simulated mouth on theirs. Yes, it has now come to sticking your mouth on plastic objects. If you like, you can also leave kisses on the answering machine, and replay them over and over, until your lips hurt.