First off, a USB calculator is pretty useless. I mean wth, are you too lazy to use the calculator app? Maybe it’s for our parents and grandparents who may not be able to find it. Plus, everything has a calculator built in these days.

At any rate, stupid as it is, this one can be forgiven, because it also works as a 4 port USB hub. It’s available in hot pink(For those who want the color without the Kitty), white, or black. For $16.00 the USB Calculator Hub is an affordable gift for those who may not be able to find calculator app on their own.

Transformers fans will love this four port USB hub in the shape of Optimus Prime’s head. It’s like you decapitated the lead transformer and have a talking trophy on your desk. Like the All Spark version, it spews classic phrases like “Autobots, transform and roll out!”, “This is Optimus Prime - do you read me?” and “It’s time to stomp some Decepticons!” when you connect a USB gadget.

It has an on/off switch for the voice, so when you get sick of it, you won’t have to pull your hair out. It will cost you $34.99. Now you have something to keep you company until the sequel comes out.

Anything that calls itself “UFO Combo Card Reader + 7-Port Hub” catches my attention. It’s not just a useless device with a cool name either. It’s a gadget that is actually quite handy sporting 7 powered USB 2.0 ports. It’s also got 7 slots to read CF / T-Flash / MicroSD / M2 / Mini SD / SD / MMC Micro / MMC / XD / SM / MS / MS Duo cards.

Did I mention it’s shaped like a UFO? (Sort of) And it might even house little aliens for all I know. The kind that get all up in your business at night, while you sleep. You can get yours in either blue or gray for $30.

This already-shrunk-down version of the All Spark from the Transformers movie has a few less powers than its likeness in the movie and probably won’t turn your gadgets into small Autobots and Decepticons. It does however have the ability to expand your USB ports by 3 as its main purpose is a 4-port USB hub. As if that’s not quite enough for Transformer fans, the hub will also spout out All Spark phrases from the Transformer movie. I don’t think I remember the All Spark doing a lot of talking during the movie but I suppose that was the next best thing to having the device auto-expand into the full-size All Spark.

The USB hub retails for £17.99, but can only be pre-ordered at this time and isn’t expected to be available until the end of August.

After already spending too much of my day behind traffic lights at intersections and at those metered ramps they have here in the Portland metro area the last thing I really want to see when I get to work is another traffic light on my desk. Unless of course I can use it to effectively stop or at least caution approaching visitors of my current status.

This USB traffic light doubles as a 4-port USB 2.0 hub and has a little switch letting you control the red yellow and green light for once, instead of it controlling you. As if that isn’t enough from a $25 USB peripheral it also can record and playback a 10 second voice message and has a place to clip a memo pad and supposedly some type of screen cleaner. Huh…

Anyway, another one of those perfect gifts for the geek who has to have every type of cheap USB accessory available.