Printers have now learned to stand upright. Maybe soon they will learn to beg for paper as well so they can get an ink treat. This is Lexmark’s first all-in-one printer with an upright design. It’s called the Genesis and it sports a 4.3-inch capacitive color touchscreen display for access to the printer controls and menus.

The Lexmark Genesis also sports a 10-megapixel imaging sensor that enables it to transfer a page from “document to digital” in seconds. It takes just .750 milliseconds after you close its front-facing scan bay, for the CMOS sensor to generate a preview on the 4.3-inch color touchscreen, and 2.2 seconds after that, it’s scanned a full 4800 x 1200 image.

Bikes are a great environmentally friendly way to get around. But not so much when you’ve had a few drinks. That’s where this self-stabilizing bike comes in handy. It will keep you upright when you’ve had a few too many. It arrives in the world courtesy of researchers at Yokohama’s Keio University.

It’s equipped with two motors: one that moves the rear wheel about 2.5 meters per second while the other controls the handlebars. A linux controller keeps watch of everything via webcam and gyro sensor, steering the vehicle and adjusting its speed accordingly. Right now the bike is only able to stay upright when moving in a straight line, but before you know it they will have a system that can corner and work in the real world. So go ahead, drink up.

I love pinball, but I don’t think I’m lazy enough to play it vertically…with a remote. Okay, maybe I would. There may be a few benefits to upright pinball: Like not hurting your back, being able to sit comfortably, it saves space in your home etc. But at $119.95 it’s cheaper to play one of the many far superior console versions of pinball. Plus that HUGE remote isn’t a winning me over. No, it’s not a good idea to play pinball in this sacrilegious manner. You will look like a tool because that’s what you are.

The artist who created this concept will tell you that it’s some artsy-fartsy way to make a statement and get yourself some polyphasic sleep, which is the practice of sleeping multiple times in a 24-hour period, but really it’s just an excuse to be lazy whenever and wherever you want. So lazy that you don’t even lay down. In fact, it’s a new epidemic of laziness sweeping the globe. This guy basically walks around with his Vertical Bed in a suitcase, finds himself a nice spot, anchors his bed above subway vents and sleeps for about 40 minutes a pop.

Whole damn days must really pass him by. There’s a concealed harness that makes sure he doesn’t fall over and sleep horizontally. He’s also wearing noise canceling headphones and double-mirrored sunglasses, padded with little cushions that keep his eyelids closed. In case of bad weather, an umbrella clips in the infrastructure for shelter. I don’t know, sounds like he’s doing a lot to force his body into sleep. But that’s not the worst of it.