LED-embedded undergarments are bizarre. Maybe even creepy. I mean, look at the pic. It looks like you have an evil other-worldly creature living in your nether regions. Do you really want that thing staring at you? But hey, maybe you like that sort of thing in the bedroom. Who am I to judge?

I guess LED undies are only limited by your perverse imagination. At Enlighted, you can get LED g-strings, panties, even hot pants. If it’s not freakish enough for you, they will make a custom piece for you, with lights and patterns of your choice. Perfect for acting out Sci-Fi fantasies. Just don’t ever talk about it outside of the bedroom. Please.

Personally, there’s only one piece of hardware I want riding down below, but unfortunately hardware in your undies may become the norm one day. All I ask is that they leave room for the main package I’m hauling and that they’re comfortable. For some unknown reason, Philips is looking to create a pair that monitors your blood pressure.

A recent patent application from the firm shows off a “wearable” system, but they do point out that “it is particularly suitable for implementation in a continuously wearable undergarment with integrated measuring sensors or electrodes, so as to be directly in contact with the subject’s skin.” You know, I’m not too sure about all of this. I mean, don’t outfit our drawers with something that’s going to stunt our growth. (Insert George Costanza “shrinkage” joke here)