This could be an April Fools joke, but we know it’s coming anyway. A company named Voss & Mauser is claiming that they have a new GPS implant tracker that can be directly implanted into the skin and that it’s now available in the states.

Our tipster states “Many parents and governments across this planet have been demanding for a GPS Tracker device that can be embedded directly into the skin and cannot be removed or noticed by them. Follow the tracked person’s exact satellite location on any computer with Internet, no matter where they are in the world.” Yeah, I’m sure it’s a dream that many people share, while others cringe.

Can’t seem to get enough sun for your gadgets? If only that great big fiery ball in the sky would stay still. It would make it so much easier for you to harness those rays. That ain’t gonna happen, but here’s the next best thing.

The Solar ChumAlong solar tracking system is a solar charging panel that automatically tracks the sun just like those expensive arrays you see in movies. But this one is portable and lightweight, so you can always have power. The solar panel is always facing the sun so you’ll always be able to juice up your gadgets.

Lok8u has made the trek from the UK all the way to Vegas so they could show off their Nu•M8 GPS child locator at CES. It’s the “innovative new best friend for parents and children.” Yippee. Try telling your kid that after he’s been beat up for wearing such a hefty nerd watch.

The device is touted as the first of its kind, created specifically to be worn by children with the technology “cleverly concealed within a child’s digital watch.” Um, okay. I think everyone who sees this watch knows that something is up. The watch will also send an alert if it’s ever “forcibly removed,”, thereby forcing your child to wear their $218 watch.

This concept security bracelet for kids comes from a project led by Rodrigo Torres. The idea is that if you combine a security bracelet with LEGO, kids will be more apt to wear it and be tracked for safety reasons. It’s got several features that will get your kid to keep it with him/her.

First off, they can design it the way they like with LEGO bricks. Throw in some games, photos, speaker and the a Lego man in front, and your kid is suckered into being tracked while having a fun device of their own. Heck, I want one myself. I don’t care if it’s tracking me. Sadly, it remains but a concept at the moment.

The In-Reach Child Tracking System will let you tag and release your rugrat into the yard. One part of the device is attached to your kid and tracks his or her proximity to a 10- to 300-foot boundary that the parent has determined. The other part of the device is carried by the parent. This shows where the child is at all times. The child unit has a panic button (Prepare to be summoned for every little thing thanks to this aspect.). It will cost you $44.95.

Despite the fact that it seems like the Panic button could be abused by the child, this gadget should give you some peace of mind. I imagine this would also be good for caretakers who care for mentally handicapped people or the elderly.