Surely with this technological breakthrough, humanity has finally reached the pinnacle of a new and great scientific age. For years man has struggled with wiping his butt in darkness. But no more. Glow In The Dark Toilet Paper has arrived. Surely it is reverse engineered alien technology.

No longer will power outages stop you from doing your business. You’ll see that glowing roll of tp shining like a beacon. Other ways this will improve humanity: People with tp attached to their shoe get ten times funnier, and tp’ing someones house is now more spectacular at night.

The EZ-TP Electronic Teaching Trumpet from Yamaha is now available in Japan. Sorry rest of the world. You’re going to have to wait to get your lips on this one. It’s a digital way to learn the trumpet and share and save your MIDI-produced songs to your computer. The EZ-TP trumpet is designed to react to humming, not your mouth positions.

Apparently this lets you play the instrument by making the proper tones yourself. The Lighted Teaching System teaches the proper way to learn fingering. You can even download songs online and load them onto the EZ-TP with the supplied MIDI cable. It has to be asked. Will the amateur kill this device by filling it with their nasty slobber and spit? If so, good way to teach the musical apprentice would be for the instrument to spit it back at them.