I can think of lots of pets that I wouldn’t want to own. Things like a big snake, that huge dog from Cujo, and a spider monkey that’s always whacking come to mind. Perhaps the worst pet you could ever own would be a lawyer.

If you feel differently, you can adopt a lawyer just in time for the holidays. The My Pet Lawyer doll thingy is a remote controlled gadget that will blurt out nine different saying like “You talkin’ to me, sharkbait?!” to “Pro Bono? Never heard of him!”

There are lots of kids my son’s age in our neighborhood and frequently they end up at my house with Nerf guns blasting each other with foam darts. Nerf wars are lots of fun and kids (or adults) of all ages can partake in the action.

Nerf has introduced a new dart gun for the holiday season that is the ultimate weapon for backyard Nerf wars. The thing is called the N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25. The gun is fully automatic and can shoot three Nerf darts per second from a belt that holds 25 darts.

These paper toys are cute and they aren’t afraid to do battle with paper villains. But paper cuts can be deadly to them. You can download them at harlancore for free, print them out and start folding one. After that, just play with them on your desk. There’s Spiderman, Cyclops, Wolverine, Magneto and Professor X. And they are all sticking their tongues out at you. There are more characters available as well, like Storm, Beast etc. Nerd toys don’t get much cuter.

Since the summer began my house has been besieged by woodpeckers. The birds pecked on my house until they have actually made holes in the eaves. I really want to get rid of the little red head birds, but I don’t want to just go postal on them.

Despite the fact that I don’t want to just kill them, I wouldn’t mind knocking them a bit senseless and the M4 3181 AEG Airsoft Rifle with M203 Spring Grenade launched might do just the trick. Yeah, it has got one seriously long name but is there any denying how cool it looks?

The Wall-E merchandising train is alive and kicking. We told you about the ultimate Wall-E and we really like that one, much like the Wall-E mp3 player. Well, they’ve taken it a bit further with the Wall-E and Eve interactive toys.

Now Wall-E and Eve get the chance to get all freaky with each other. InterAction Eve has light-up eye expressions, arm movements, and sound effects. She’ll respond when you talk to her or push her along. She even has a flying mode, where you can lift her up and hear authentic blasts and whooshes. Needless to say Wall-E will interact with her.

You can never have too much Mario. Or Bowser. Or Donkey Kong. Maybe Peach, her whiny voice can grate on the nerves. The point is, you can never have too much Mario Kart. Now, thanks to Anytoys, you have a whole selection of Mario Kart Pull Backs featuring Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Princess Peach, Wario, Yoshi and Donkey Kong.

Just pull them back and forth and they’ll take off on their own. These are straight from Japan, and each pack costs $11.60 and comes with 3 random characters. You better go prepare for your races. You’ll probably want to buy a bunch of baby turtles so you can sling shells at each other. Some will have to be painted red of course. Then you’ll want to gather some banana peels, have at least a quart of oil ready for those oil slicks too. However, if you are going to go for that kind of authenticity, I would suggest playing outside.

Cue Star Trek: The Next Generation music. Replace flying starship intro with sex toys flying near planets. Michael Young is a designer known for his simple and elegant watch designs, but these days he’s exploring the final frontier: Getting intimate with and finding out what makes the fairer sex tick…to orgasm.

It’s called the Sabar and it’s a sleek futuristic banana shaped personal massager for her. The idea is that it will be simple, yet exciting. The controls are easy and responsive.(Like some of you ladies…I kidd…No, really some of you are.) All she has to do is tap the plus or minus button at the base and she’ll get a stronger or lessened vibe. That’s about all there is to it. Pretty much the same old thing in fact. They kinda look like deadly Ninja weapons.

Leapfrog, a developer of educational products for kids, has unveiled a new handheld “learn-to-read” technology which lets children interact with the stories they read. It is called the Leapfrog Tag Reading System and pricing is around $50.

The Leapfrog Tag Reading System is a small handheld scanner a child can use to touch a page of a special “Tag book.” These pages, when touched, emit audio for the stories. This is supposed to create a higher degree of interactivity with what the child is reading. Parents connect the Tag handheld to a computer to transfer audio for each book onto the device. 16MB of internal memory lets Tag hold around five books worth of material.

Etch-a-Sketch is finally coming into the 21st century. The Wired Etch-a-Sketch is the digital version of the classic toy that has entertained children as well as bored adults for the past several decades. The TV Etch-a-Sketch takes the toy to the next level.

It has a wide variety of new modes, like Cool Drawing Tools, Trace A Pic, Super Sketch and Connecting the Dots. The controller has the two classic Etch-a-Sketch knobs to keep the nostalgic feel of the original. What about shaking it and clearing what you’ve drawn? That’s the most classic part, after all. Yes, it has that feature too. Just shake the controller and the screen will clear.

If you’re a huge fan of Mario,(who’s not?) you’ll want to put away your Mario Kart slot car set and order yourself this giant Mario Kart racer pronto. It’s yet another way to bring the game into real-space and bring back memories of the N64. Mario and his Kart are over 12″ long and feature various sound effects from the game. Which is probably a good thing, since your cat will have some warning as Mario speeds down your hallway. You wouldn’t want Mario to run over Fluffy and spin out like he hit a banana peel.

Comes with a Nintendo GameCube style controller with five functions: Right, Left, Forward, Reverse and Turbo. Runs on 1 9V Battery and 8 AA Batteries. Check out a somewhat dorky video of it in action here. You can buy one online for $49.99.

Track Racing Grannies. Or as I like to call it Geriatric Kart racing. If you ever wanted to pit two elderly knitting machines against one another in a nail-biting slot car race, here’s your chance to see what happens. The only way this could possibly get any better is if they said things like, “Just a minute, let me count my change.” or if there were a few more “cars” on the track like old coots in rocking chairs maybe and nurses.

Basically, Edna and Betty are ready to race in their wheelchairs and on occasion careen off the track due to your need for speed. Each granny has an individual speed controller and the set will require 4 x AA Batteries (not included). The track measures 64.5 x 48 cm.

Now you can play Mario Kart in the real world away from your screen and in slot car form. The set includes 2 cars, a transformer, straights, curves, narrowing set, 2 hand controllers, guardrails and spare contact brushes, guide keels plus a track link.

Race Mario’s B-Dasher against Wario’s Brute on twenty feet of track. This should be a fun way to enjoy the classic game in a whole different way. I can only assume that more cars are forthcoming, since racing Mario against Wario could get boring after awhile. Some of us prefer Toad’s well balanced ride. This is a great fun concept. I’m surprised it’s taken them this long to bring it to market.

Here are some clever LEGO ads by FCB Johannesburg showing that kids might not necessarily need elaborate kits, and what a simple LEGO brick design might look like through the eyes of a child. Very cool.

UrbanRetroLifeStyle

If you’ve ever been working away at home on your computer and found yourself to jump up and exclaim “Oh, my muffins” and run to the kitchen; this is a good indicator that you will want to look further into the PC EZ-Bake Oven from ThinkGeek.

The nostalgic oven fits into the 5.25″ drive bay of your PC and bakes with a light bulb (extra bulb included) to make your own personal confections right at your desk. It comes with some packs of mixes and some open-source oven controlling software with recipes, but can also be used to heat up pop-tarts or any other flat snack you have in your office fridge. Our favorite “in-office” recipe from the devices collection has to be the “Non-Dairy Creamer Creme Brulee”.

The PC EZ-Bake Oven retails from ThinkGeek …

You can add a little strategy to your in-pool battles with this remote controlled water cannon. It can be directed from up to 40 feet away and can launch a stream of water up to 20 feet. Dual Kort nozzles propel the rechargeable battery powered device to make tight turns and the cannon will elevate and lower its angle to get the right trajectory.

It comes in colors of yellow and orange which each run on different frequencies and sells for about $130. The remote controller is waterproof as well for complete in-water operation. If only there were a way to attach it to a large bottle of your favorite beverage and you could have a nice portable, remote-controlled drink dispenser… I love summer.

Hammacher