This Cassette Tape Measure is pure 80s on the outside and pure measuring tape on the inside. It’s a product that’s funny and useful at the same time. How can you not buy one for $8? It’s labeled “Professional Sound”, while it very unprofessionally exclaims, “Pull me!”. Seems rude.

You can either buy this for $8 or try to make your own. Just make sure that if you do make your own, that you actually put a measuring tape inside. I made one once and forgot to do exactly that. The result was measurements like 1/4 of Night Ranger’s Sister Christian intro or 1/16 of Don’t fear the Reaper. And the tape took forever to wind back inside too.

If there is one tool that is the most valuable to modders, it’s the Dremel. It’s small and amazingly versatile and anyone can use it. Without the Dremel, we would not have half the mods that we see here day in and day out. Well, modders will be happy to know that Dremel has announced its latest rotary tool, the Dremel 4000.

The corded rotary tool is the company’s top-of-the-line version and will do all of the usual cutting, carving, engraving, routing, sanding, you name it. It features adjustable speeds from 5,000 to 35,000 rotations per minute. It’s also the only Dremel tool that is compatible with all Dremel accessories and attachments. That includes the MultiSaw and Planer attachments for the 400 Series XPR rotary tool. Modders everywhere are smiling.

The grater is an essential kitchen tool. But there are so many essential kitchen tools, that putting them all away and keeping the kitchen neat can be hard. Graters have always been a problem. Their squarish form is great for food prep, but not for storage in the cabinet.

Well, that just changed thanks to this Fold Flat Kitchen Grater from Joseph Joseph. It does what it says and folds flat for easy storage. There’s even a grip handle on the side for grating over food. The Fold Flat Grater features coarse stainless steel blades and is dishwasher safe.

We’ve seen tons of bottle openers around here, but this one is perhaps the manliest way to open a bottle ever. Men know two things. Opening bottles and working with tools. And since I’m a man I like to think I know a little something about both.

Craftsman’s Cap Wrench Bottle Opener is basically a opener that acts as a fulcrum and weighs a solid 0.64 lbs. It’s made from solid steel. If your buddies see you opening a beer with this thing, they are gonna know who the alpha dog is. Right tool for the right job.

You can never have too many tools and what’s great about Leatherman multi-tools is that it puts all of the important ones on your belt. The Leatherman Freestyle ups the design and gives it a more deadly and dangerous look.

You never know when you’re going to need to make like MacGuyver and cut some wires, turn some screws and stab a bad guy. This tool include pliers/wirecutter, a combo Philips/flathead screwdriver, straight blade and a bottle opener/carabineer. The Leatherman Freestyle Tool is pretty light too, so it’s no problem to have it with you at all times.

A standard credit card is no survival tool. It won’t even cut anyone really. There isn’t much that it can do for you in dire situations. But the Tool Logic Survival Card is actually useful.

It won’t help you shop, but it will offer you some handy tools for survival. It has a magnesium fire starter to start fires, a serrated knife to cut fish or cut an attacker, a signal whistle, tweezers, even a toothpick and an LED flashlight. This thing is awesome if you are stranded on Lost island or are just forced to quit playing WoW and face life.

The Hydrokinetic Adjustable wrench lets you work with twenty three different sizes of bolts and nuts. The secret to it’s success with so many sizes lies in the wrench’s liquid core. To adjust the wrench, just open the valve, fit it around the nut or bolt and push the gripper on the opposite end.

This will compress the liquid which will push the gripper on the end. Once it is snug against the nut, close the valve and your wrench is locked in position. The head will let you get into even the tightest spaces and the design of the grip will help you turn damaged nuts and bolts.

It’s important for a woman to check her breasts regularly. But doing breast exams at home isn’t easy. And I can’t offer my services to everybody. Even if women check their breasts regularly, I’m sure it can be hard to tell if they are doing it correctly.

The Breastlight can help with the home exam, making your breast checks more accurate. It works by shining a bright red beam of light through the breast tissue. The idea is to look for any dark clusters. That’s where blood may be collecting and leading to malignant lumps. If it works as advertised, it should be a huge comfort to women.

The Cherry chomper supposedly provides a safe, quick and easy way to pit cherries, but this little guy looks entirely too happy about his job. Like he’s waiting to take a bite out of your finger. A “plunger design action pushes pit and residual juice into the bottom container”.

This little guy has chomped more cherries than Fabio after a book/I can’t believe it’s not butter signing. Yeah, it says the protective ‘tooth’ ensures that hands and fingers stay safely out of the way, but I’m not buying it, because teeth can fall out.

A new Twitter tool gives followers a list of people who have recently split up with their partners. Yeah, kinda scary. Like those dudes who go to funerals trying to pick up hot widows. Okay, maybe not that bad, but still.

Box UK has created reboundfinder to search for specific tweets from people who post that they have either dumped their significant others, or been dumped by them, and then to RT, or retweet, their posts via its feed. Creator Dan Zambonini says that he was just showing how a simple filter can be used to startling effect in Twitter’s open format.

There are all kinds of pizza cutters on the market. There’s one for everyone’s style and personality. The Pizza Pro 3000 Circular Saw pizza slicer is for manly men, while this $20 pair of pizza scissors is more suited to those crafty Martha Stewart types.

It combines the slicer and the lifter into one device. If you like really thin slices by the look of it. Just cut your pizza like you cut a piece of paper, then use the spatula to transport it to your plate.

Since the very dawn of pizza, when it’s mighty cooked aroma filled the air for the first time, the pizza cutter hasn’t changed much. But now some genius, and I’m not being sarcastic, has come up with the ultimate pizza cutting tool.

It’s the manliest, most hardcore pizza cutter ever. And though it won’t rev up like a real saw and cut both your pizza and the counter-top beneath, you will find yourself mimicking the powerful sound of the saw as you slice and dice and accidentally cut it into a million pieces due to fun overload.

“The Nack” knife is different from other utility knife tools, because it holds 15 blades pre-loaded in the hilt. That little feature makes it easy to switch out a dull blade for a new sharp one without taking the knife apart. Which saves you time and gets the job done quicker.

Just retract the blade, turn the end cap and slide a new blade out. One downside is that this means you also have to buy replacement cartridges from Nack Products for $6. The Nack will cost you $16 by itself. It comes in two versions: one is black with a soft grip, and the other is metal and carries the additional title of Pro.

The name is a mouthful, but this tool is a long overdue upgrade to the traditional hammer. Without a single swing, it will drive up to 3.5-inch nails with just the pull of a trigger. It’s powered by a 12-volt Lithium-Ion battery and works great in tight spaces.

The best part of course is that it’s a tool for the extremely lazy. Much like me, it nails at 2000 impacts/minute. Just ask the ladies. It also sports a retractable nail sleeve and magnetic head that makes it easy to operate one-handed.

Here’s a handy tool for those who need to escape from their own vehicle, whether you’ve driven into a lake and are about to drown or your doors have trapped you inside after an accident. Just carry this Houdini Automotive Escape Tool with you at all times. It features a safety whistle, LED light, spring loaded glass punch and even a seatbelt cutter.

It’s super compact, you will fit on your keyring. Not enough? The pro version has still more features and was designed for rescue workers, firefighters, and the like. You never know when you might get trapped in a car after all.