When you make the leap to installing a beer tap in your home, you better make it classy. Otherwise you are just a lush. When you class it up, you can get away with calling it “refined taste” or eccentric”. The Beertender is the way to go.

It will cost you $638 and for that price you can get a mini beer tap that’s all class in leather and wood. All you need to do is drink up. Even if you act like a total slob, this thing says that you simply like your beer in style. Who can argue with such elegance?

The Portable Tap Dispenser is a backpack with a dispensing tap that holds whatever brew you choose. It keeps the party firmly on your back. It also has a cupholder. Not since ghostbusters have backpacks been so cool. I don’t know about you, but I would rather be drinking than catching ghosts. Still, don’t cross the streams, that would be bad.

We don’t know what the capacity is, but it looks big enough to get you good and drunk. Maybe then you’ll see ghosts and try to catch them with beer. It will cost you $35.