I say it’s about time somebody called the pool table on it’s BS. It barely qualifies as a table, and it sure isn’t a pool. I know, I sound like Seinfeld, but how about a little trurh in advertising? Really a pool table is a ball table. Well, the design team at Freshwest have created a true literal pool table.

It’s actually a coffee table made with 50mm acrylic that reflects light so that it looks like a shimmering swimming pool. A pool suspended in the air, like somebody dug the ground out from beneath it. The miniature diving board on one end is a nice touch. Obviously, we want it, but who knows if it will ever be available to us regular folk. Then again, that’s gotta be a heavy table. And you’d need inflatable pool toy coasters.

So you wanna swim like Michael Phelps, but your pool isn’t exactly Olympic size. That’s where the Home Swimmer comes in handy. It’s like a treadmill for the pool. It will keep you in place so you can feel like your pool has no boundaries, which will give you a great workout and let you practice for the gold at the same time.

Looks like it’s pretty simple to use. Just attach any flabby person to the tether, suspend a Big Mac two feet in front of him and the fun begins. It’s only $89.99. I suppose you could just, you know, swim around on your own, but I guess some people need to be tethered to get fit.