That device looks innocent enough, but it acts like a politically correct skunk. Called Pepper Mouth, it plugs into your USB port and sprays a foul stink whenever you type swear words. Well F*** that! Damn that stinks. Hey damn isn’t technically a swear word you ahole! Ewww! Stop it already. I’ll keep it clean.

It blasts a putrid peppery smell whenever it detects your online vulgarity, first warning you with a red light, and then when you make a second offense, it punishes you. That bastard! Dear god my nose!

So you have yourself a Zune HD and you’ve downloaded your new Twitter app. You’re looking forward to some sweet HD tweet time. But wait. How come that guy you just called a ^$%bag didn’t get called an %$%bag? That ain’t right.

In a sad turn of events, this app censors bad words. Hey if you want to tweet swear words all day it’s your god given right ya ***head. Besides, if those who follow you on Twitter don’t have a problem with it, who cares? Nice move Microsoft.

Now ladies, I’m not saying that some of you can be hard to live with during that special time of the month when Aunt Flow comes to visit. I’m not saying you can get a little cranky and yell and curse at a man until he’s just a hollow shell of himself. I wouldn’t do that. Why, I didn’t even comment when that Wiimote sailed past my head and stuck into the drywall like a dagger in Mario-land. No, I’m not saying anything.

It’s the makers of the PMS Teddy Swear Bear that are saying it. It’s cute and pink and looks cuddly. Like you. That’s where the similarities end. Really. The bear has mood swings and says things like “I Will F$%$%!king destroy you”. So this bear obviously isn’t for kids. It will arrive in stores this November for $29.99. I’m not saying you can identify with her boiling red-hot rage. Now how did my clothes end up all over the front lawn?