What the hell is Dell thinking? They show us the awesome looking Dell Adamo XPS and then they show us this Bergdorf Goodman monstrosity. It’s a fugly Swarovski Crystal, sterling silver snake on top of an etched Adamo 13 lid.

It’s ugly. It makes the laptop at least twice as thick and Swarovski anything is gaudy. Even if they are diamonds, who cares. This thing is just nasty looking. It’s just short of gluing a turd on the thing. What do you all think?

Nothing says tacky like an object decked out in Swarovski crystals. It’s double the ewww factor when that object is a mouse made to resemble Hello Kitty. It is so girlly and shiny that it blinds any male who looks in it’s direction.

It’s says that it’s compatible with windows, but you’ll obviously need a gargantuan hand to use this thing. This fugly light catcher can be yours for only 160.00. It’s not an official Hello Kitty product. Just officially yuck.

For those of you who like crystals and cute robots playing jump rope, meet Robot Dreamy Tina. She’s the newest member of the Philips Active Crystals line from Swarovski. She joins her blinged out robot relatives Robot Happy Laura and Robot Naughty Raymond.

Perfect for robot-loving geek girls and can be worn as a pendant or charm. It will store up to 500 songs or 2000 photos with its 2GB capacity. The LED ears light up as data is transferred.

Yet another device gets bedazzled by Swarovski crystals. Elton John has launched his own iPod nano lineup. But these Nanos were harmed in the name of a ood cause. To raise money for the Elton John AIDS Foundation. The players are covered in the aforementioned crystals, and can be had in black, green, orange, pink, purple, red, silver, or yellow.

On sale from Goldgenie and Selfridges, the 8GB version will cost you £399.99 while the 16GB model will set you back £449.99. You’ll want to get one quick as each color is only offered in a limited edition of 100. They’ll even throw in “Rocket Man: The Definitive Hits CD” with every order.

There’s no shortage of devices sprinkled with Swarovski crystals. Unfortunately, most are so smothered with bling that they just look tacky. The Elements Stardust Radio is actually done up right, with just the right ratio of bling and device. It actually looks nice.

It’s a Sonoro musical player that has been covered with 3,900 Swarovski crystals in a white floral pattern against a background of black crystals. It features 10 preset AM/FM stations, iPod/notebook/PMP compatibility as well as an integrated alarm clock. Hopefully we can close the “Crap me up with Swarovski” chapter on this high note, but somehow I doubt it.

When pimped out swarovski mp3 players and the like haven’t assaulted your senses quite enough and you feel like your life could be gaudier, you can always start bedazzling your kitchen. The Nespresso Crystal Edition coffee machine is smothered in 3100 Swarovski crystals and will only cost you about $4,000.

It will still make a mean cup of coffee and comes with a removable grill for macciato lattes, an illuminated collecting pan for your used coffee capsules, and it does it all with the single press of a big blingy button. A few more shiny gadgets like this in your kitchen and you will be blinded when the sun shines in.

Here’s something for all the girls who want some sparkle and shine. Much of the tech that’s geared toward women and girls looks pretty, but is lacking in the specs department. Not these earbuds from Altec Lansing.

These little earbuds feature enough Swarvoski Crystals to satisfy anyone who loves them plastered all over their tech. It has 9mm neodymium drivers and gold-plated plug for nice sound quality. They also have a snug fit for those with smaller ears and some passive noise reduction. Altec Lansing has them for $59.95, while Amazon is selling them at $29.95.

The Luna watch is inspired by Swarovski’s expertise in crystal and Signity’s brilliance in gems. It’s made of crystal, stainless steel and a Spessartite Garnet. The time display is simple, just touch the two contact points and the time seems to magically appear within the crystal.

The idea is that it’s simple in function and also aesthetically complex. So it’s more of a fashion watch. Just incorporate a cell into it and I would say you’ve got a hit on your hands…Or wrist. The odds that we are going to see anything like this anytime soon, zero. But it is futuristic eye candy.

When you care enough to give the very least, you should consider the 2 carat mug. It comes in an oversized jewelry box, so when you present it as a gift, all she’ll see is the ring.

Then she will say, “You cheap bastard!”. Once she digs in the box she will find it attached to the mug and she will say again, “You really are a cheap bastard!” And she’d be right. This white porcelain lameness, with clear Swarovski crystal only cost you $17.99. You will be sleeping on the couch for quite awhile.