Soup nazis are no longer safe thanks to SOUPER. Soup crimes bounce off it’s shiny metal head. He’s capable of scooping big spoonfuls of Alphabets from your soup, then standing or sitting triumphantly. Did someone say “No soup for you!”? SOUPER says screw that jazz.

Eat up Junior. Safe in the knowledge that truth, justice and soup are all protected. Just don’t mix this guy up with your other action figures, then take him to your friend’s house. They will think your family is poor and laugh at you.

Look, we all know you’ve taken the Superhero thing way too far. Just the other day I saw you ride by on your modified Batman big-wheel and return hours later with your ass kicked. And that wasn’t the first time. It might be better to give your butler a break from tending your wounds and just chill. Listen to some music while you’re living out your fantasies through comic books.

And these are the perfect headphones. This way you can still feel like a hero without suffering the indignity of getting a wedgie from the Joker. These headphones are from the Greenhouse electronics company and clearly inspired by our favorite bat and spider. In fact you can choose from 13 different models, all with a frequency response of 20Hz-20,000Hz, an impedance of 16 ohms, and a maximum input of 3 megawatts.