With our lives being so hectic, it’s hard to de-stress. Which is probably why we turn to the computer to help us. After all, that’s where many of us spend large amounts of time. The Sweety concept will help. Or so they claim. Personally, I don’t see how.

This thing looks like Kenny from South Park. After he died and attained ghostly form. Now on a flowery surf board. He’s come back not to haunt, but to calm you via graphic patterns on the screen under his hood. Apparently Sweety can also play interactive games with you as you manipulate its soft body by squeezing. That aint right at all.

First of all, this thing looks like it needs a Hello Kitty face on it. It’s basically a pink and white torpedo for women to lay on top of and get touched inappropriately by it’s robot innards. Since it’s a robot, it won’t have to worry about sexual harassment. It’s got wheels too, so once you get your wife good and relaxed, you can just wheel her wherever the hell you want and go play the Wii.

It’s ridiculously expensive at $13,500, but what the hell, it’s got a huge pink visor and a touchscreen. It also “automatically adapts its speed and pressure to the body part it’s massaging,” and since you are laying out all that dough, they give you a built-in audio system too. If you ask me it looks like a futuristic hospital bed that’s only going to fit women on the very thin end of the scale. I guess the moral of the story is to quit eating three square meals at Mickey D’s for a month and only then will you be privileged enough to get a robot massage.

Everybody gets stressed. It’s the nature of our fast paced civilization. The StressEraser wants to help. So just calm down, find your zen place and read on. Ahhh, that’s better. Deep breaths. The device claims to be an an award winning biofeedback medical device. It’s designed to calm your mind and relax your body in under 15 minutes. The idea is to focus your mind and guide your breathing by synchronizing it with a “calming” BreathWave patten. Daily 15 minute nighttime sessions have to be done before sleep to calm your nerves.

Stay in your special spot. We’re almost finished. Picture yourself gently gliding through clouds. Your deep regular breaths are your propulsion…Holy crap! That jet almost rammed you. That couldn’t have helped your nerves any. Back to the StressEraser. It can also be used during the day if you’re feeling stressed. Measuring 3.75″ x 2.5″ x 0.6″, the device is designed to be carried around. I’ll hope you’re still calm, because the price tag is $299.