All I can say is that it’s about time. If I could have frozen him myself I would have. This is the man who gave us Ewoks. And for twenty some years that was the least of his crimes. He became public enemy number one when the Star Wars prequels arrived, giving us such intelligent and top notch creatures as Jar-Jar and the wooden acting of a young Mannequin Skywalker. He finally explained the force, which was some BS about midichlorians that are like little tiny atoms that can infiltrate the womb and create life instead of some cool mysterious force.

He basically threw the story of the original trilogy out the window and now he will pay for all eternity, frozen in carbonite. Oh yes, I want this on my wall so I can gloat like Jabba and laugh at him. And let this be a lesson to other directors who want to serve us up some crap instead of quality and well thought out stories. I imagine Spielberg can always dress up as Leia and rescue him while I sleep, but that’s what the Rancor and the Sarlacc pit are for.

So you’re chillin’ with your Clone Trooper laptop, wearing your flannel like George Lucas and waiting in line for that new Ewok action figure that has a big release today. But what you need is some tunes.

This is what you want right here. A Star Wars mp3 player. The front features a close-up of Darth Vader with glowing red eyes, which is cool, but sadly, this MP3 player only features 512MB of memory and a display that looks like it’s 30 years old. It does come with a built-in radio however. It’s currently out of stock at Amazon.co.uk, but ForbiddenPlanet will release a similar product shown above for about $80 US at the end of the month.

If Phantom Menace, Attack of The Clones and Revenge of the Sith didn’t ruin Star Wars for you the new Clone Wars probably will. To help celebrate George Lucas throwing his own feces on screen once again, comes this Clone Trooper laptop for the kids.

Nice case, and a typical keyboard lets your little Jedi play boring learning games on its monochrome screen. It’s probably a good case to use for a mod, or maybe you could take the front off and have yourself a half mask, but that’s about it for $39.99.

With so many apps for the iPhone, looking for something cool can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Well, here’s a real gem that will have Star Wars fans dancing around and accidentally throwing their iPhone against walls like it was a Wiimote.

It displays a lightsaber on screen and uses the iPhone’s accelerometer to generate the corresponding sound effect based on your movements. You can choose the lightsaber color and everything. What are you waiting for? Go have fun and break stuff.

We’ve seen our share of geek cakes, whether you’re talking Star Trek or R2-D2. But the Millennium Falcon cake is the best yet. Probably the best ever. It takes the cake.

It’s super detailed and would leave a trail of sickeningly sweet icing through hyperspace. It was made by Charm City Cakes in Baltimore and some lucky guy who isn’t me received it this weekend for his birthday. I wouldn’t know whether to eat it or get my old action figures out and play. It just needs a blockade of Star Destroyer cakes to outrun and the scene is complete.

What am I always saying? If you want a geek’s money, brand it Star Wars and put it in a bubble on a card. Geek money is now your money. The Adidas Superstar X Star Wars shoes come in black or white, black being much cooler since they are accented to look like Vader’s helmet.

They are a very limited edition and probably gone already. They did a great packaging job since this is gonna remind every geek of the action figure packaging. I’m sure many will buy these just to keep them in the package and take up more space in their mother’s house.

The Jedi Gym will help you live out your Star Wars fantasies and shed pounds. In this video you’ll meet Master Flynn(No relation I swear) and watch as he uses the force to motivate out of shape nerds dressed like Lando, Leia, Stormtroopers etc. One of the things we learn here is that there are no 300 pound Stormtroopers. Another is that Lando has really let himself go. When Vader drops by, things heat up.

Here’s what you get when a mad scientist from the 19th century creates a droid. The only thing missing is C3PO in a gentleman’s suit and bowler. It was made by Deviant Art user Amoebabloke, who has mad droid modding talent.

It’s got to be one of the cooler steampunk projects I’ve seen. In fact I want this droid to have it’s own show, solving crimes in Victorian London, meeting Jack the Ripper etc. Have my people call your people.

C’mon guys. We all love lightsabers, but there are limits to even your dorkiness right? Probably not. I can practically hear you just drooling over these trinkets and mouthing a firm OMG. Basically your DS stylus can now be replaced with Star Wars lightsabers. It will make it look like a tiny Jedi is attacking your touch screen.

They’re officially licensed and everything. And especially appropriate when playing Star Wars games. It should be noted that they are too big to fit in the DS stylus slot. But who cares, you’ll be too busy geeking it up. Get a 3-pack of the standard ones for $7.99, or you can splurge and spend $16.99 on a pair that actually light up with LED blades.

Okay, here’s marketing 101. Let’s say you have something crappy that won’t sell to the public. What do you do? Answer: Use the Star Wars angle. Let’s say you have a round ball of wood, a long black blob and a brown furry…something. Call them Darth Vader, Chewbacca and the Death Star. Now they’ll sell to geeks who have more income then they do common sense.

These designs by Benjamin Males are “The Singer, The Drummer and The Dreamer”. Huh? Who is who? The Singer has five keys and is “influenced by classical instruments such as the Violin…and is created from solid Cherry wood. It is made using 5 Axis CNCing, which enables a smooth spiral to be ‘carved’ into the cherry.” Whatever. The Drummer loops drum-beats, creating rhythm in the musical composition. Influenced by African drums such as the Djembe, the Drummer will also throw off a secondary percussive sound when you tap the flat section. Again whatever.

I choose neither the light or the dark side, instead preferring to the subtle arts of the Geek side. Which is why I love these Star Wars USB hubs. Best of all, no Jar-Jar or Ewoks. Just your favorite droid and your favorite Sith Lord. The details are super nice too.

Both feature four full-speed USB ports in front. We think R2’s head moves every 3 minutes and lights up, and both have sound effects from the movies so you can re-inact scenes as often as you like. They’re Japan only for now, but it’s only a matter of time. Oh yes, I will have one.

This has got to be the coolest Star Wars Lego creation ever. This my friends is a $400 Death Star, comprised of nearly 4,000 pieces and yes, it is available to order. Go change your nerd pants. I’ll wait.

It shows off 14 classic scenes from the Death Star from the original trilogy. Comes with 25 mini-figs and droids that seem more awesome then usual. You know what you must do geeks. Go without a few comics, pull an extra shift, see if mom will let you slide on this month’s basement rent.

When you’re part of the evil Empire, you have to conquer worlds. Street by street if you have to. There’s at least one street somewhere, where they made a mockery of the Empire almost as badly as the Ewoks did. Maybe even worse. That AT-AT must have had a long shameful walk home.

This Hasbro Star Wars vehicle was customized by Graffiti artists EASE and JK5 under the direction of SUCKADELIC. It’s done in the Aurebesh language, a fictional letter system created for the 6 Star Wars films. It’s being auctioned off at Christies, so you probably can’t afford it.

A long time ago in a galaxy far away…someone used the Death Star plans to build a paper droid and messed up the whole rebel plan. And so can you, if you have an ink jet printer, some scissors and glue.

It’s pretty accurate for paper, looks pretty awesome, plus it’s articulated. And if you really want to prove your paper droid making skills, you can use vector-based PDF plans to print and build your own life-sized R2 unit, but don’t let the Empire get a hold of the plans.

The force works for all kinds of things. Everything from shooting a laser into the Death Star to lifting an X-wing out of a Dagobah swamp. But apparently, it won’t help you catch fish. That’s what this Star Wars fishing gear is for.

The fishing rod has a lightsaber handle(of course), and you can get a themed tackle box to go along with it. How about a Darth Vader fun net? That’s not a very tough product for Vader. One bit of advice, if you catch Jar-Jar, throw him back immediately. That guy is annoying as hell. Clumsy too.