So you drive around in an Gremlin, but what you really want is a Porsche or a Ferrari. Unfortunately you can’t afford one. Which is why you are in your little bucket of rust. Well, the Soundracer can help. It won’t convert your heap into a sportier car, but it will plug into your car’s cigarette lighter port, and use an FM transmitter to play real V8 or V10 engine sound effects to the stereo.

That way you can at least pretend you are driving in luxury. According to SoundRacer’s website, the sounds correspond to the RPMs of your car’s engine. Pretend is fun.

Geeks with no Dark lord to bow down to will want to hang this Darth Vader clock on their wall. Then once a day bow down on one knee and ask “What is thy bidding master?”. That’s probably when your mom will sound off from the other side of your door and tell you to do some laundry. That is thy bidding.

This clock is actually kind of sad. Vader just looks silly impaled with clock hands on his forehead. It’s from England’s Wesco Limited and measures over 6 inches tall, features glowing red eyes, and includes a Vader sound effect. It also requires 3 x AAA batteries. It will cost you $34.99 in disposable geek income.