The ladies can now carry 350,000 volts disguised as lipstick, that will stop any attacker in his tracks. I only ask that when I hit on you, you don’t overreact and zap my nutsack for no reason whatsoever. This is meant for serious defense from an attacker. I just want to be clear on that. I didn’t appreciate the restraining order either. You know who you are.

It’s just 3 and 5/8 inches long, 7/8 inches in diameter and apparently comes in the colors shown. Also has a nifty flashlight. A word of warning to you blondes out there. Not that I believe all the dumb blonde jokes. I think you are all far smarter then they give you credit for. That being said, make sure that you think before trying to apply lipstick with your taser. It’s not hard to imagine a pretty, but none too bright young girl zapping herself in the lips, only to get up and do it again. And again. Just be careful.

Mindwire has come up with an electrical muscle simulation kit that actually gives gamers direct sensory feedback. That means when your onscreen character takes a hit, you get a shock. The price is £99.99 and the Mindwire-V5 will plug into any second-generation console through the controller port.

So, if you are a glutton for punishment, this add-on will give you a more intense and immersive gameplay experience if you’re up for it. A maximum of five self-adhesive pads can be applied to your arms, legs and stomach. Hell, why not just have your little brother kick you in the nuts everytime someone scores a hit on you? That’s immersive gameplay.