The first ever “Clever condom”. They took 4 years to perfect them. The best packaging created by the best designers. They use a special patented formula of latex and the product ushers in a new era in the history of safe sex. It’s basically another arrogant iProduct that would perfectly compliment your iPhone, iMac, or MacBook.

It’s actually some sort of viral promotion. Pretty funny site. They got the attitude and arrogance spot on. People would probably buy them based on this site’s pitch alone.

At first glance you might just think this is a new concept phone. It’s actually a machine designed so that you can get your wank on, and it opens up so you can clean it easily. Ain’t that a pretty picture. It’s made of silicon, and it’s got vacuum and pump buttons on it for you to adjust the sidewalls, so you can pretend you are with a really hot girl.

Apparently it’s good for fifty uh…uses. It will cost you $99, but hey, they also throw in three containers of lube. This gadget will help you do what you already do anyway, just high tech. I can sense that some of you are excited. I can almost hear you thinking, “This is like using someone else’s hand entirely”. That’s right. No need to make your hand fall asleep before the deed any longer my friends. And for others out there…This beats the hell out of using a cardboard TP tube.

From time to time we come across something that is so wrong, we have no choice but to hide it behind the jump. This is one of those times. NSFW pictures after the jump.

Cue Star Trek: The Next Generation music. Replace flying starship intro with sex toys flying near planets. Michael Young is a designer known for his simple and elegant watch designs, but these days he’s exploring the final frontier: Getting intimate with and finding out what makes the fairer sex tick…to orgasm.

It’s called the Sabar and it’s a sleek futuristic banana shaped personal massager for her. The idea is that it will be simple, yet exciting. The controls are easy and responsive.(Like some of you ladies…I kidd…No, really some of you are.) All she has to do is tap the plus or minus button at the base and she’ll get a stronger or lessened vibe. That’s about all there is to it. Pretty much the same old thing in fact. They kinda look like deadly Ninja weapons.