Randy Sarafan must be the kind of guy who gets people to pull his finger. You see, Randy has gas. Apparently so much that he modified his office chair with a sensor and hooked it up to his computer. The end result is this: Every time Randy farts, the chair sends out a tweet on Twitter.

So I can only surmise that following Randy on twitter is kinda like being there, but with no foul smells. Judging by the number of tweets he produces, I think he should seek medical help. We aren’t sure how to tell just by reading his tweets whether they are real earth-movers or just SBD’s.(Silent But Deadly)

Having never suffered from hemorrhoids myself, I can only take their word for it that this, the latest in toilet seat/hemorrhoid technology will alleviate your discomfort and allow you to do your business like the rest of us. Dr. Maurello has hemorrhoids. He’s the inventor. HemAway is his idea.

HemAway looks like an angry toilet face, but really it’s a specially designed seat for minimizing the pain from prolapsed hemorrhoids. There’s no easy way to explain this, but it requires the person to position their hemorrhoids in a certain way. The video explains it and as a bonus you get to watch some animated rhoids retract nice and slow. May be slightly NSFW if your boss frowns upon cartoon rhoids.

This weight seat is great for those who have taken an interest in their weight, but not so much interest that they need to stand up and walk to the scale. Also great for eating meals and literally watching the pounds add up. It’s probably also good for video game players who don’t have the Wii, but think that their games can really get them in shape. Just sit on your butt, button-mash as you frag enemies and keep looking down. I’m sure you’ll see some results eventually. It was designed by Atypyk design studios and sadly I think it would be a real hit with many large mammals.

For some reason, humans like to put their own unique stamp on everything so they can stand out. Just look at all the tech add-ons that personalize their gadgets. And after centuries of tattooing their bodies, it’s time to tattoo the ole crapper.

Toilet tattoos are printed on a plastic film that sticks electrostatically to your plastic seat lid. They can be easily removed and changed or cleaned. They offer a variety of patterns and images, including holiday themes, so you can change the look of your can to match the season. Personally, I would want the frogs one, but I would want the image to change automatically. They would start off as happy frogs, but after somebody does their business and adds a few logs to the pond, the frogs would keel over and fall off their branch. Then when the smell dissipates, they would be happy again. See, it’s not only pretty, but kinda like a refuse radiation detector as well.