So are you the type to pick up a call while driving or let your voicemail handle it? Chances are you take the call, but the truth is that driving while distracted is becoming more of a problem lately. People are dying. That’s why Canadian software company Aegis Mobility has developed software to help.

It’s called DriveAssist and the basically the software detects whether or not you’re driving and if you are, it will hold your calls, telling the person on the other end that you’re behind the wheel. It has an emergency feature built in. In an emergency the caller can enter an override and reach you. As a passenger you can also use the phone. But will people actually go for this, being so addicted to their devices?

In these trying economic times, as the divide between the rich and the poor grows ever greater, the rich need to protect themselves. Landing comfortably safe with your golden parachute may have protected you when you ran your bank into the ground, but it won’t keep you safe from the angry villagers with torches.

Or worse, guns. Joe six-pack is pretty pissed at guys like you, dontcha know. This polo shirt from Caballero will protect you from their bullets while letting you look casual. It will protect you from a 9mm pistol, so that you may live to gorge yourself on the American financial system one more day. $12,000 is nothing my wealthy friend. You’ve earned the bullets, so get yourself a bullet-proof shirt.

The X Sting Wish not only has a clever name, but an even more clever design. You can easily see it fragging cyborgs and aliens. It’s from UK designer Adam Scott and according to him it’s for extinguishing fires, not fragging aliens. I don’t care what he says, I want to see it make something ugly or robotic into something dead. Not that Scott cares about my fantasies.

The idea is that the X Sting Wish is much easier to understand and operate than your average extinguisher, while still being recognizable. It sports a huge trigger and many firing options, like powder, CO², and water. Plus it’s ultra durable. This is one concept I really want to see become reality.

The Brickhouse Child Locator let’s you keep an eye on your child in public areas at all times. This device is simple. Just tag your child as if you were a researcher tagging an animal. You can attach the tag to the child’s clothes and you’ve got a homing device.

If your kid leaves the safety zone, the Brickhouse Child Locator will alert you by beeping, vibrating, and visually leading you to your child quickly. It also has a “panic button” on the tag so your child can use it in an emergency. It will cost you $189.95 and could save your child’s life. If you like, you can also do some valuable research into your child’s movement patterns etc. Tag and release, it’s just that easy.

This concept by Dutch designers looks like a Star Trek shuttlecraft on wheels. The basic idea is that the cabin on top of the platform can move around during a crash, which would hopefully keep the passengers inside safely out of any areas that would crumple and get hit during the impact.

The passengers could theoretically be exposed to much less force and the car wouldn’t get damaged quite as badly. That cuts down on injuries and death of course. It’s an awesome idea if it works the way they think it does. Probably the weakest area would be where the cabin and the platform meet. If they can make that super durable, it’s a concept that should work.

Many people like to leave the TV on when they leave the house. The idea is that any potential burglars will see the flashing light of the TV and think that someone is home, making them pass that house up. Here’s an invention that serves the same purpose, without having to keep your TV powered on.

The $49 FakeTV uses an array of colored, flashing LEDs to create the illusion of the stroboscopic effect of the television. The bonus here, since you are obviously paranoid about burglars, is that the box uses only a fraction of the electricity of a real TV.

Here’s a decent alarm system with a slick interface. uControl is a fairly new company in the home security arena. They took a year developing and refining a platform called SMA (Security, Monitoring and Automation) and a TouchScreen control panel that both works as a fresh system install and can also integrate with your existing alarm. That means you are covered no matter what.

The company says that it will replace any control panel or alarm box in an existing system, bringing together all the existing functionality of equipment, sensors and wiring. In a new install, the 7-inch WVGA TouchScreen is a stand-alone wireless alarm system that communicates with wireless peripherals and sensors. It also offers remote control from any browser or cellphone, alerts via email or SMS, redundant connectivity (WiFi, ethernet and built-in GPRS cellular), cameras and compatibility with home automation setups.

The ladies can now carry 350,000 volts disguised as lipstick, that will stop any attacker in his tracks. I only ask that when I hit on you, you don’t overreact and zap my nutsack for no reason whatsoever. This is meant for serious defense from an attacker. I just want to be clear on that. I didn’t appreciate the restraining order either. You know who you are.

It’s just 3 and 5/8 inches long, 7/8 inches in diameter and apparently comes in the colors shown. Also has a nifty flashlight. A word of warning to you blondes out there. Not that I believe all the dumb blonde jokes. I think you are all far smarter then they give you credit for. That being said, make sure that you think before trying to apply lipstick with your taser. It’s not hard to imagine a pretty, but none too bright young girl zapping herself in the lips, only to get up and do it again. And again. Just be careful.

Some of us like to take the simplest things and make them complicated. Like this door chain for instance. This thing will make it beyond complicated to get the door open, keeping others out and keeping you in…forever!

The Defendius was created by mad genius Art Lebedev. I understand the concept and it’s a good one, but maybe a medium sized maze would have been best. Something between the original and this crazy labyrinth. Still, I guess if there are people you really don’t want to see, you can always blame the Defendius. And when they find your corpse after two weeks, half eaten by your cats, they will know the Defendius was installed.

Let’s say you drive around in an old heap and your battery dies. You need a jump, but you don’t have jumper cables and no one wants to help. With the Porta Jump, you won’t need any help at all. It doesn’t require jumper cables or helpful strangers.

Just plug it in your cigarette lighter and wait for the green light to turn on. It’s that easy. Done. You are back in the business of driving around in a heap. As an added bonus, it will recharge while you are driving. This is a good $20 spent. Ideal for damsels in distress as it’s much safer then asking a stranger for help and possibly running into a nutjob.

Turn signal gadgets for cyclists is nothing new, but you don’t often see them in clothing. Ph.D student Leah Buechley on the other hand, has designed several items of electronic clothing, but her signal jacket for cyclists really stands out.

LEDs are embedded in an arrow formation and they flash to indicate that you are about to turn left or right. That’s a good idea since it will warn motorists, and prevent you from becoming roadkill, which we know some rednecks eat. The LEDs are powered by the round device in the center of the jacket, which is a small, sewable computer chip that Leah also designed herself. She obviously needs to be working with clothing manufacturers.

The In-Reach Child Tracking System will let you tag and release your rugrat into the yard. One part of the device is attached to your kid and tracks his or her proximity to a 10- to 300-foot boundary that the parent has determined. The other part of the device is carried by the parent. This shows where the child is at all times. The child unit has a panic button (Prepare to be summoned for every little thing thanks to this aspect.). It will cost you $44.95.

Despite the fact that it seems like the Panic button could be abused by the child, this gadget should give you some peace of mind. I imagine this would also be good for caretakers who care for mentally handicapped people or the elderly.

The idea behind this tablet/pda device is not to lure the elderly into gaming with a cute device full of pretty icons.(though I’m sure that would work) It’s to track every movement the elderly make. Not because we fear them…they’re old. It’s because Nokia believes this is the best way to keep them around longer.

By monitoring what they consume via RFID tags; from expired foods, medicine, possible allergens and nutritional info. It could probably even tell you if they have been putting toys in their mouths while watching Matlock, like babies do. It’s easy to read and use and that’s the key. This pad hopes to be a vital tool for the upcoming explosion of elderly Baby Boomers.(Which is bound to be a mess. Baby Boomers explode with twice the power of your typical spontaneous combustion.)