I’m no pool shark, but the game of pool is all about angles, geometry and math. And taking the other’s guy money. So how does a game play on a round table? No more corner pockets for one thing. I guess you might have to call your shot using terms like “8 ball in the 12 o’clock pocket”.

I suppose it levels the playing field, making expert and novice alike learn the game for the first time. And where do you place the cue for the break? I have no answers, but the whole thing is customizable and you can even put a stripper pole in the middle for when you grow bored of pool. That way you can watch a stripper try to sink balls as she dances. You use a stick, she uses lucite heels. By then you’re so drunk you’re just glad to have something to bet on, because this round table hasn’t been winning you all the dough you thought..

So you wanna swim like Michael Phelps, but your pool isn’t exactly Olympic size. That’s where the Home Swimmer comes in handy. It’s like a treadmill for the pool. It will keep you in place so you can feel like your pool has no boundaries, which will give you a great workout and let you practice for the gold at the same time.

Looks like it’s pretty simple to use. Just attach any flabby person to the tether, suspend a Big Mac two feet in front of him and the fun begins. It’s only $89.99. I suppose you could just, you know, swim around on your own, but I guess some people need to be tethered to get fit.

Why didn’t anyone think of this before? A Ping Pong table that floats in your pool. It saves you the trouble of getting liquored up and thinking it’s a good idea to throw your non-floating Ping Pong table into the pool. Yeah, that wasn’t your best moment.

Think of all the fun you could have. Spectators can make waves and make your game extra challenging. Or you and your opponent might have to swim for the entire game, keeping the table in motion. Bottom line: This summer is a hot mofo. Spend the $69.99 and take the game to the pool. Then when the weather cools, go inside for some modular Ping Pong.

It’s that time of year when you are going to want to be in the pool and you’re going to want some tunes too. There’s no need to mount your iPod on an oversized raft, when a smaller more Roomba looking thing like this will do. And even though it’s easy enough to have a radio nearby, it’s always much cooler to have your music floating around with you.

You won’t have to worry about your precious iPod drowning since this floating speaker is capable of wirelessly connecting to and streaming from your iPod dock. It will cost you $129.95 to have this bit of floating debri nearby.

It’s not quite summer yet, but if you have your pool ready to go, this floating Homer Simpson radio will let you listen to your favorite AM or FM radio station while you take it easy. Like you, Homer floats on his back with a can of Duff parked on his gut and not a care in the cartoon world.

The Duff can is used to tune the radio and adjust the volume. Apparently, he’s waterproof and requires a set of AAA batteries to run. He will cost you $40.