This Gerbil shirt will insure that you have no friends whatsoever, though it will make your gerbil happy. It was patented by some dude who really loved Gerbils and as far as I know it was never endorsed by Richard Gere, which explains the lack of a gerbil love tunnel crossing the border of this kids pants.

The Gerbil Shirt wraps around you, giving your little buddy plenty of room to run around. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing. How do you clean it? Just attach it to a faucet.

We’ve seen a birdcage backpack before, but we didn’t know where to order one. Thankfully there’s one that’s actually available so that you can bring your bird with you everywhere. Just remember, during long hikes it will get heavier by the hour as the bird poop piles up.

The Pak o Bird backpack comes in one of three sizes depending upon the size of your bird. The $129 backpack has an included privacy curtain, dragonwood perch, and adjustable food cup. The mesh exterior is see-through yet chew-proof so your bird won’t escape.

If you can’t bear the thought of leaving your dog home alone, or just like to spy on your pooch, this device is for you. In addition to feeding your own doggy voyeurism, you’ll also be able to feed him remotely thanks to the Remote Pet Feeding Viewing Camera Kit.

As long as you’re connected to an Internet line and have remote access to your home computer, you will be able to watch Fido’s every move and make sure he is well fed with this autofeeder, which features a dishwasher-safe bowl, 24-hour programmable timer and a non-chewable cord.

Note to Japan. Trying to make dog poop fun by making this dog poop composter look like a robotic dog just ain’t cutting it. Poop is gross. Dog poop is gross. You can’t make it fun. You just can’t. Please stop trying to make poop fun.

I mean you put the poop in the dog’s mouth. I know some troubled dogs eat their own, but still. It’s called Sum, a robotic trash can designed by Tohoku Kankyo. Just open the dog’s mouth, insert poop and old food, and it’ll break it down and make it not stinky. It can take about 600 grams of poop or food per day. Does the broken down poop and food then come out of robo-dog’s butt?

You know who you are. You people with your little dogs that have big stomachs dragging on the floor. Whether it’s from too many treats or a serious lack of exercise, the Jog A Dog doggie treadmill will shape your pooch up in no time.

It comes in 4 different versions, for toy dogs all the way up to your giant beasts. The treadmill will do between 1 and 10 mph, are very quiet and supposedly maintenance free. Well, you’ll have to clean up the puke. Your little guy is so out of shape, it probably thinks this is astronaut training. The treadmill also features an easy grip surface and the running surface can be removed and cleaned.

A remote control for your cat. No batteries are required as it’s powered by positive thinking. Just point it at your cat, press some buttons on the remote and hope for the best.

Some of the buttons include “Stop Scratching”, “Show Affection”, “Remain Aloof”, “Meow”and others. Your cat will be doing what you command it to in no time. Only $7. The “Fur Ball” button is loads of fun.

Hamsters are like people. Most are lazy and just sit around eating. Some enjoy the simple pleasures of a wheel, so they can stay trim. Then there are those select few who dare to dream and have “the right stuff”.

To paraphrase Kennedy, “We choose to put a hamster in a rocket before this decade is out, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.” So, make your hamster a national hero by buying him this Hamster Rocket Ship Funhouse so it thinks that it’s part of NASA. Just leave him in there for a while and change the scenery in front of the widow. He’ll never know. Then when he comes back to Earth, you can give him a parade in one of these.

The Float-a-Pet collar is a good idea. For one thing it keeps your pet safe, for another it’s fun to see pet heads floating down Main Street during a flood. Win/win. It’s an inflating floating emergency collar with a flashing light so you can locate your pet even in the dark.

Sure, dogs can swim, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get tired, just like us. It may not be such a great idea that the flashing light is powered by solar. Probably not the best way to power something that is made for emergency nighttime situations. But with this thing, at least your pet has a chance to become one of many floating heads in a flood situation.

You might remember when we told you about the Critter Cruiser awhile back. The hamster hot rod that you park your critter in so you can give him a ride, because it’s nice to get out of the cage once in a while. Well, now it comes with the Hamtrack, so your little gerbil friend can go round and round like a furry Nascar driver who’s not afraid to poop in his car, getting exercise the whole time.

The car works both with and without the track. The car is about $36, while the car and track set will cost you about $63. Maybe you can get some sponsors for your rat races and put little stickers on the car. I’m pretty sure we here at the ‘Brick would like a piece of that action.

We’ve all been there. You need to pet your chicken even though your chicken is miles away. How do you do it? Maybe it’s sick of being fondled and that’s probably why the chicken crossed the road in the first place. It got sick of your harassment. Thankfully a group from the National University of Singapore’s Mixed Reality Lab have developed a way to pet your chicken through the internet. No chicken will be safe!

The idea was inspired by acts of pets and animal abuse through lack of welfare. This system enables humans to provide care for pets even though they are physically not together. The system enables a human to remotely touch her pet which is kept at home while she is away (in her office), and at the same time monitor the movement of the pet. This is realized by using a doll, which resembles the real pet located remotely, sitting on a mechanical positioning table. The pet owner interacts with the real pet by touching the doll.

Dogs need gadgets too, and there is no reason that all of the exercise you’re pet is doing with you shouldn’t be measured as well. I know that when I take my dog for a walk, he covers three times the distance that I do just by running around and sniffing stuff. It would be interesting to know just how much distance a dog goes in a day.

This Doggy Pedometer won’t measure the actual distance, but like a human pedometer it measures the number of steps and can record up to 100,000 of them. Measure your pets stride and with some simple math you can have the distance. The pedometer for your pet also has a timer on it and doubles as a dog tag where you can write some information on the back.

Yamasa Tokei