Drinking wine depends on wine openers. How are you going to drink your sweet booze if you forget the wine opener? Well if you own the Waring Pro Cordless Wine Opener, it’s all good. This gizmo costs $45 and fetures a rubberized body with brushed stainless accents. Plus, it’s powered by a rechargeable NiMH battery pack, so it doesn’t need to be confined to just the kitchen.

You also get a rechargeable base unit, with removable foil cutter. It has you covered no matter how pickled your liver is, as it will open 80 natural corks on a single charge. If that isn’t enough then you are too drunk to care anyway.

Any gadget lover knows the frustration of trying to extract a new gadget or toy from it’s clamshell packaging. Each of us has probably stabbed or sliced ourselves just trying to open the packaging. Exacto knives work great, but your chances of injury increase dramatically. It’s a fact that many of us here at the ‘Brick have less than ten fingers. So why not have an electric gadget that will open these packages for you?

The ZIPIt simply slices through the demon package like butter. The device runs on 3 AA batteries. Just remove the protective cover, and slide your package into the end of the cutter. A few seconds later, your package will be open and all of your fingers will be intact.

Homer understands you. He also has the desire to drink heavily. And like you, he prefers beer, so that when confronted with a bottle of wine, he has no idea how to open it. Well, now the two of you can team up and open bottles together.

The Homer Simpson corkscrew looks just like homer. His arms will hold the bottle snug while you twist his bald head to insert the corkscrew. After that it’s just lift the bottle and drink. Glasses are for suckers. Like Flanders.