As a tough guy you’ve worked on your share of projects that involve power tools and you’ve no doubt had your share of mishaps that have sent you to the emergency room.

But there’s nothing worse then wounding yourself and then being forced to cover the wound with some kind of Pokemon band-aid because that’s all you had in the first aid kit. It just looks ridiculous. Regular bandages aren’t much better. But the Duct tape bandage says I’m a man damnit and I can just slap some duct tape on it and it will be fine.” Who needs a stinkin’ doctor?

Now, if you can create a gun that will shoot these AK-47 bullet ice cubes into drinks, you’ll be the talk of the town for your killer drinks. On the other hand, if you’re the violent sort, you may well create a gun that will shoot these into a person, since they will melt and leave no evidence. I guess that’s my dark side working overtime.

The AK Ice Tray resembles an AK-47 magazine. Just place the other half on top and it will create perfect ice bullets that look amazingly realistic. And if you’re a spy-type, why not impress an enemy agent with these. When they choke on the unusual shape, your job is done. Again, no evidence.

We’ve seen our share of useless gadgets, no question about it. They don’t get more useless then the USB volcano. I mean, they could have done something cool with this. How about a little diorama with some ancient civilization dropping a virgin or two into the thing? What about making it a real lava spewer(Okay, nothing harmful that will melt flesh) that’s also a bank, where you have to feed it coins so it doesn’t go all Krakatoa all over your desk? Or what about having a tiny remote control robot in the case with the volcano that you can send in and get readings like a real science kind of deal?

But no. No, sadly this craptastic gadget is just a volcano with plastic lava beads that erupt out of the water-filled desktop toy. And you even have to provide the water. $18 if you are actually impressed.

Looking for a cheap USB thrill for your desk that will provide hours of fun and distract you from your work? You might want to check out this USB Ferris Wheel that’s powered by your typing. I don’t know about hours of fun. That kinda depends on your IQ level.

Surely it will provide minutes of fun, with it’s flashing lights, carnival music, spinning wheel and plastic bunny, bear and elephant careening down the slide. Surely this is exactly the useless crap you’ve been searching for. As long as you keep typing the show will go on. How much would you pay for all this fun? 10? 20? It can be yours for just $30. Hit the link for a video of the Ferris Wheel in action.

For those who enjoy thumb-wrestling, but feel that their pudgy digits lack the animation needed for true wrestling drama, you might want to hone your button mashing skills, because Arm Wrestle Mania will take your finger game to the next level. That level being somewhere above redneck and below barstool drunk, but still. This game may be the only way you ever beat someone at arm wrestling, so it’s well worth it.

Commence button mashing and the arm moves. Whoever taps the button quickest wins bragging rights and will have to defend their title with this $25 toy. Who will you be? Backwards hat trucker guy or clean cut 50′s hair dude?

What’s better then the new iPhone? Two things actually: An iPhone from the future and a nice cold beer. Now you can combine your love of brew with your iPhone love thanks to this neat app that uses the iPhone’s tilt sensor to simulate you drinking it down as you raise it to your lips.

Just don’t lick your lips and slam it down on the table like a mug. You paid a lot for that thing. iBeer can be found at iTunes for $2.99. They also have iMilk for some reason. Check out a video below.

The Hacked USB flash drive holds 2GB of storage space and makes it look like you or somebody else ripped your USB cable in half. Great for practical jokers and those who like accessories that look like they belong in the trash. Imagine all the reactions you’ll get from strangers. More then likely some well meaning but not too smart person will approach you and let you know that your “little doohickey is broken”.

If you like to stand out in a crowd, these pig earphones from Greenhouse are the perfect way to get some attention. One of your ears will look like a pig is diving in, while the other ear will look like it’s flying out after having devoured your brain. Perfect for farmers, and pig owners. I can’t think of anyone else who would want to use these.

They’re codenamed ‘GH-ERC-PIG’ for some insane reason and they come in three colors. Pink, white and black. The little pigs have an output of 10mW, impedance of 16Ω and a frequency response of 20Hz-20,000Hz. They will go on sale later this month in Japan for $12.

Cat owners are probably used to waking up in the dead of night to a pair of large cat eyes staring at them evilly. It keeps you on your toes and makes you wonder when he will make his move, so it’s best to sleep with one eye open. For the rest of us, there’s this creepy Led/Lcd cat clock with large eyes and glowing head.

It displays the time in it’s oversized glowing alien eyes from a multi-colored glowing skull, hypnotizing you just before you wake up. Then when you open your eyes, it plants various suggestions in your mind via the annoying beeping sound. It was spotted on ebay for $18. I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure this is an alien signaling device. Probably prepares you for your eventual abduction.

Most devices already have a calculator app built in, including your computer. That’s why most people have no use for a stand-alone calculator. But if you do want or need a number cruncher that’s free and untethered and all independent like, this is the one to get. The 10-key calculator. It’s what a calculator would have looked like if there had been one built into your keyboard number pad. Instead of soft squishy keys, you get the clickety clack of a keyboard, which I’m sure won’t help it fit in your pocket and it will only annoy fellow nerds. All of this backwards innovation will cost you $88. Oddly, it’s only available in red or white.

We loved the Ferrari cell phone and we knew that it was just a matter of time until more cars joined in on the fun. If you’re not the Ferrari type, or just need a new car to use as a cell phone, you might want to try an Audi or even a BMW.

You’re gonna look silly talking on it, that’s a given, but if you’re brave enough to buy it, you’re probably brave enough to use it in public. You can get the Audi in white and the BMW in black. Both sport touch screens, a 1.3 megapixel camera, MP3 player, 3GP and Mp4 support, Bluetooth and 1GB of memory. They’ll cost you $160 each and unlike the real deal are electric powered. Try not to get caught playing with them on your desk.

Normally cranking your nuts by hand is frowned upon. I guess that’s no longer the case. Surprisingly, this tool was not designed for booty grabbing hijinx within automotive shops. I think. I’m really not sure why it was designed, but we love it. I’d be surprised if it worked as good as a regular wrench, but it’s a great way to add some comedy to your otherwise serious toolbox.

Everytime you adjust the fingers to fit your needs, it’s as if a little hand is holding two fingers up saying, “Do you love me this much?” and so forth. It’s all rather creepy, truth be told. I think it has to be used for evil. Yes, I think it must be made to pinch a woman’s butt at least once in it’s career.

From time to time we come across something that is so wrong, we have no choice but to hide it behind the jump. This is one of those times. NSFW pictures after the jump.

This might be more for those who like novelty products. Or maybe you are a fan of carbonation. This device supports MP3, WMA, WMV, WAV and ASF file formats with ID3 tags with lyrics display.

It sports an OLED screen of unknown size, a microphone and a USB 2.0 port built-in. FM radio and voice recording functionality are included, as well as seven EQ settings. Internal memory comes in 128, 256 and 512MB, and 1, 2 and 4GB. You can get it in both blue and red, presumably for those with a vote to cast in the cola wars.(Your choice of fake Pepsi or fake coke)