If you want a remote that says, “Freeze or I’ll turn your planet to rubble.”, or “Flash Gordon refuses to watch this crap any longer.” then this is for you.

Ray guns were a staple of Sci-Fi from the 40’s through the 60’s, isn’t it about time you changed channels with one? Damn straight. Cuz geeks are all about pretend, even when they’re watching some other people pretending to cruise through space on T.V. The price won’t zap you at only $18, but you’ll need to wait until August 16th when it’s available. This is great for fighting robots.

One thing is always true about new devices. They get smaller. Samsung Korea has released the world’s smallest color laser printers, the CLP-315K and CLX-3175FNK. The CLP-315K is equipped with a NO-NOIS print engine that offers a resolution of 2,400 x 600 dpi, 32MB of internal memory, 16 pages per minute(black) and 4 pages per minute in color. This one is 20% smaller than the previous CLP-300 model.

The company also released the CLX-3175FNK laser printer with built-in scanner and fax. It’s 40% smaller than the previous CLX-3160 series. With this printer, you can easily scan documents to USB memory or print documents stored on USB sticks, camera phones and digital cameras without the PC. Until we see something still smaller, these hold the title for now.

The same dirty Wii syndrome that affected Super Smash Bros is now coming to the forefront again with the launch of Mario Kart. You may or may not be able to get the game to play, depending on how filthy your Wii is. The disc reading laser is having a hard time cutting through the dirt, due to the fact that it’s a double-layer disc with a large memory capacity. Those who may be heavy smokers have a layer of nicotine on the lens, for instance.

Reports of the launch of Mario Kart Wii this month in Japan show that the game is having this same problem just months after Smash Bros. Nintendo will clean it for you, but that means you’ll have to be without it for awhile and frankly that sucks. Keep your Wii clean. A clean Wii is a happy Wii people.

Last week we told you about the Beamz Laser Music System, but we had no idea how um…retarded this thing is. I’m still not sure if I watched a comedy sketch or not and I’m not entirely clear on what era I’m living in.

Unless you are a middle-aged metrosexual who loves lounge music, you really aren’t going to want this thing for $600. It makes you look like a cat pawing a ball of yarn. Your money is better spent on video games. The big bald guy seems so desperate to fill the void in his soul with his playing. Probably because he looks like fat bald Vader from Return of the Jedi. The video is below.

Microsoft is showing off today a new wireless laser desktop combo which is somewhat designer focused. It is called the Microsoft Wireless Laser Desktop 7000 and it prices around $130.

The Microsoft Wireless Laser Desktop 7000 is what Microsoft called “Windows Aero inspired.” It offers up a thin design in the keyboard, complete with “smoked” translucent border and “floating” keys which can be personalized. The keyboard also is designed to be ergonomically friendly.

We have a virtual catalog of Wii accessories in the archive, but this is the only one that looks like it could be used by a Ninja standing on top of a tall building. Of course, at night, the white color would probably give you away, but you’re a Ninja, just lose yourself in the shadows.

I’m not sure why they felt the need to have a ping-pong ball on the end, I guess they felt it looked too cool otherwise. A laser sight is included to make sure you beat all your high scores. It will cost you $28.

The name is misleading. It’s not a desk for your neck. It’s a concept from Krohn Design. The organic and alien looking headgear is not designed to suck out your spinal fluids from the base of your brain while it keeps your heart pumping. Though, I can see how you would get that impression. What we have here is basically a creepy necklace that must have come from alien technology, with a curved tube in front of the eye.

The tube puts a screen in front of your face by projecting a laser through your pupil onto your retina, creating a virtual HUD(heads-up display). Ouch, my aching retinas! It’s thought that the buttons on the necklace part serve as your keyboard and mouse. Could be they just report your actions to a higher power. If I were the paranoid type, I would thank Area 51 for this new technology and hope that no aliens were harmed in it’s making.