I learned watching MacGyver as a kid that a Swiss Army knife can turn a single person into an entire army. I have had Swiss Army knives before, but I always lose them or forget to put them in my pocket.

Quirky has announced a new and geeky version of a Swiss Army knife called the Switch that is modular and lets the user choose what tools and how many tools are installed on the knife. The Switch will be made in a run of 1250 devices and is up for pre-sale now for $68.

Kids love to doodle. And they love to do all kinds of things at the table rather than eating the meal in front of them. Well, the Foodle should have them covered at the dinner table. It’s a fork spoon and knife that they can eat with using one end and a colored pencil on the other.

It lets kids eat and doodle on placemats simultaneously. How much do you want to bet that kids confuse which end is which and continually stab themselves? Foodle is just a concept for now, thank god. Otherwise there would be a lot of kids with eye patches.

It’s no wonder that we didn’t come up with the first anti-stab knife here in the states. We have more than enough guns to kill whomever we choose. But in the UK, gun laws are a little stricter. That means more stabbings using the common kitchen knife. But now the first anti-stab knife is ready for sale there.

The designer says that the knife will cut vegetables, but will supposedly make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will also reduce the risk of accidental injuries.

Meet the Apache. A triple threat weapon from a more civilized? age. What you get is a gun/brass knuckles/knife combo that will keep you safe on the streets circa 1870 – 1900. It’s absolutely brilliant and functions in a three step process when you encounter hooligans.

Step one. Shoot. If you miss and your attacker rushes you then move on to step two which is to hit him with the brass knuckles. Should one blow fail to stop your attacker and you find yourself wrestling about ala kirk from Star Trek, then it’s time for step three. Knife that sucker. Done. Thank god you had the Apache.

Since the very dawn of pizza, when it’s mighty cooked aroma filled the air for the first time, the pizza cutter hasn’t changed much. But now some genius, and I’m not being sarcastic, has come up with the ultimate pizza cutting tool.

It’s the manliest, most hardcore pizza cutter ever. And though it won’t rev up like a real saw and cut both your pizza and the counter-top beneath, you will find yourself mimicking the powerful sound of the saw as you slice and dice and accidentally cut it into a million pieces due to fun overload.

These days it’s hard for Ninja’s. First there’s extra security everywhere. Second, there are so many weapon choices available. How do you decide? Do you go with Wolverine claws? Or bust someone’s face with an umbrella? There’s always Dark Knight throwing knives.

Here’s another more practical option for the modern ninja. It’s a blowgun that doubles as a 3.5-inch knife. You can get yours, along with a “go straight to jail” card, for just $20. It pays for itself after your first kill.

“The Nack” knife is different from other utility knife tools, because it holds 15 blades pre-loaded in the hilt. That little feature makes it easy to switch out a dull blade for a new sharp one without taking the knife apart. Which saves you time and gets the job done quicker.

Just retract the blade, turn the end cap and slide a new blade out. One downside is that this means you also have to buy replacement cartridges from Nack Products for $6. The Nack will cost you $16 by itself. It comes in two versions: one is black with a soft grip, and the other is metal and carries the additional title of Pro.

We’ve seen our share of multi-tools, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen a multi tool pen before. My guess is that this would be MacGuyver’s pen of choice. It’s got so many useful tools inside, it will definitely get you out of a jam and help you build a plane out of duct tape and porn mags.

Tools include a Ballpoint Pen, Hole Puncher, Stainless Steel File, Short Cutting Blade, Flat Screwdriver, Wire Sleeve Remover/Small Nail Remover, Ear Pick(wtf), Long Cutting Blade, Tweezer, Philips Screwdriver, Stainless Steel Fork and Saw. It’s worth a shot at only $14.95. You never know when you’re going to need a pen AND a fork at the same time. And there’s always the rare occasion when you need both and an ear pick.

Some things are just plain wrong and twisted. Like this knife. As soon as this WASP knife stabs you, it injects frozen gas into your guts that will expand and blow you up from the inside. It was originally designed to help hunters neutralize huge animals quickly, but it now turns out that humans could potentially be the animals neutralized.

British police are said to be on the lookout for this knife even though the website states that “the company does not condone killing of innocent creatures”. I think the moral of the story is this: If you see a knife run…If you see a knife with buttons, run like hell.

Fred and Friends has a cool-looking fake Lego cutlery set that will hopefully make it to market. Although judging by the picture, they believe that everyone uses utensils to eat apples and bananas for some reason.

These have a great look, but what’s really cool is that the handles are silicone and they snap together just like Legos. So, let’s say you’re eating steak. Attach the knife to the fork in opposite directions, for awesome cutting then stabbing action. It’s also great for playing at the table while waiting on dinner. You could construct a bunch of cool cutlery things. Better then a Duplo set.

Seems like the new generation of multi-tools have some odd designs. Much like the Spyderco Byrdwrench, the Lil’ Guppie (doesn’t that sound like what the skipper would call Gilligan in an underwater Gilligan’s Island show?) has an odd look.

The Lil’ Guppie is tiny enough to fit on your keychain, but super versatile still. The adjustable wrench can open up pretty wide for it’s size, and it’s tininess is actually an asset, letting you get into all kinds of tight areas. It also sports a razor-sharp blade inside, and it’s tail is a flat-blade screwdriver bit. Need a Phillips head? It conveniently slips right out from inside. Of course it wouldn’t be a multi-tool without a bottle opener, so it performs that duty as well.

The Spyderco Byrdwrench has an odd name. It’s not a wrench made by spiders for birds who spell their name with a Y like the British rock band. That would just be silly. What it is, is a multi-tool that’s a bit different from some other multi-tools. It sports a combination of one-hand open knife, slip-joint pliers, bit driver, and an adjustable crescent wrench.

It’s also got a rough punch file/hole-starter and a steel belt clip, and can be separated into two halves to reveal the four screwdriver bits inside. While I’m sure it’s convenient and it does have an interesting sort of industrial look, I’m not really sold on the idea that it’s somehow better then my trusty Leatherman multi-tool. The price is about the same at $77. If anyone has one, let me know how you like it.