I guess necklaces just got a bulky and zippy upgrade. Normally they are shiny and sparkly and made from expensive stuff. The Zipper necklace is just what it sounds like, a necklace made entirely out of zippers. Tons of zippers. But if one is wearing a Zipper necklace, is your fly always open or closed? I’m assuming the price isn’t too far out there since zippers can be found on practically every crotch and coat in the world. All I know is that if my wife was wearing this and asked me to zip her up, I’d be really confused.

When you care enough to give the very least, you should consider the 2 carat mug. It comes in an oversized jewelry box, so when you present it as a gift, all she’ll see is the ring.

Then she will say, “You cheap bastard!”. Once she digs in the box she will find it attached to the mug and she will say again, “You really are a cheap bastard!” And she’d be right. This white porcelain lameness, with clear Swarovski crystal only cost you $17.99. You will be sleeping on the couch for quite awhile.