I can’t think of a geekier way to wake up. Vader should have had the time displayed on his eyes in this fashion throughout all the movies, just to be helpful to others. Because I don’t remember seeing many clocks in the Star Wars universe. In fact, don’t let Lucas see this, or he just might re-edit the whole damn series to include such a thing.

For $30 you’ll get an AM/FM radio and Vader’s head will also act as a speaker for your digital audio player. It’s pretty cool, but what I was really hoping for was to wake up to Vader’s breathing.

Look, I know you older guys and doctors are crazy about your golf, but damn. That’s no excuse to go peeing in a golf club or to have a giant inflatable golf simulator in your backyard.

You want to hit a little white ball again and again in between rides in your little beat up golf cart that’s your business. I don’t get it myself. But since you own all of the other novelty golf products, take a gander at this. The Golf Club Head Mouse is the mouse you’ve been looking for. Grip the head of the driver to control your cursor and pretend it’s hitting a little ball each time.

Self decapitation should be built into all robots as an added safety measure. Robot decapitation is what you’ll get with this little guy. He’s a 4GB drive and includes a clasp to attach to your keychain.

He could have more memory, but who cares. He’s retro and cool. Kinda looks like he’s taking his helmet off to say hi. He’ll cost you $25. And let’s not forget, keeping robot charms on your person will endear you to our future masters.

You gotta love a Green USB stick man who can display his own decapitated head with a smile. What’s not to smile about? He’s fully posable and can bend himself into shapes that would have you in the hospital and your Yoga pants split in half.

The Green Man USB drive holds 2GB of data and basically amounts to a happy green head sticking out of your laptop, while the body is off doing whatever it’s doing. Probably humping your wiimote. It’s available for $31.

The Paul Frank monkey is almost as pervasive as Hello Kitty. I’m not sure which to fear more. But I know that one day they will fight it out Aliens VS. Predator style and we will then know our new master.

Until that day, the merchandising train keeps rolling along. This Paul Frank Monkey shaped mobile phone is not an official product. It’s a clamshell phone with one eye that works as camera. It’s a pretty basic phone that features a 1.6 inch TFT display screen, 1.3-megapixel camera, FM radio, Bluetooth, music player, stereo speakers and a microSD expansion slot.

Why are geeks drawn to Legos? They’re fun sure. You can create original stuff and recreate almost anything imaginable. It probably has something to do with why the pyramids were constructed in Egypt. Humans just need to create. And since the dawn of time geeks have been the most innovative and creative. Here’s a look at a bunch of random cool statues all done up in lego. Statues used to be made from bronze, steel, gold, concrete… But the age of Lego is at hand.

Papercraft is all the rage and we’ve seen some pretty cool stuff built into paper versions. This may be one of the coolest things yet. Imagine if you will an army of paper Stormtroopers. That’s scary. Now imagine an army of just their heads. That’s a dark-side nightmare. And it will surely happen when people realize that they can make their own.

You have to download .PDO papercraft files and a papercraft program called Pepakura Designer in to view them. Looks like they are in iPod Nano colors. You can download them here. Just make a bunch in different colors and decorate your room or something.

We’ve all seen the movie The Exorcist. Remember when Linda Blair’s head spun around? This is a lot like that, but with Vader and a Stormtrooper. And minus the messy green vomit. At first I passed on showing you these, but then I thought about it and realized that decapitated spinning Star Wars heads have got to be awesome. My God how I would love to torment Jar-Jar’s head, but alas, that’s not an option.

They’ll come in very handy if you are in a noisy environment or if you’re phone is on silent. If you get a call, heads won’t roll, they’ll spin. $9 a head. Might be nice to have the head of George Lucas himself, considering all he has done to the franchise. Yeah, I’d like to watch that one spin for a while.

The Wellness Skull, designed by Atelier Van Lieshout allows people to sweat out illness inside of an actual skull. Because it’s not just for witches and goblins anymore. Others want to get fit in a morbid way too. It features an integrated sauna in the head with a bath located in the neck. Those nearby outside can see hot steam escape through the skull’s eyes.

If that’s not enough for the skull lover in you, the designer also offers up the Sensory Deprivation Skull, which is a chamber where you can get away from it all. The Sensory Deprivation Skull is made of reinforced fiberglass and measures 150cm x 110cm x 137cm. Only 10 are available, which is a good thing. Seeing too many people crawling out of skulls would just be plain weird.

Whether you’re into the classics or just want it to look like you are, the Ode to Beethoven MP3 Player Speakers will bring a little Beethoven into your life. It is designed by UK artist Fiona Thomson, with the idea of combining classic artistic aesthetics with modern technology. More importantly, it lets you dock your mp3 player in a stone bust of Beethoven’s head, so you can look all classy while playing your AC/DC and Alice Cooper. Right now, it’s still just a concept, but hopefully it will be a reality soon and herald a new age of stone iPod docks.

It really is the most awesome thing ever. But being from the future, shouldn’t it know about Blu-Ray by now? It’s a DVD player / Terminator head! There’s not much info about this thing online, like where to buy it etc. Probably because Sarah Connor erased the info after she blew it up. All I can tell you for sure is that the Terminator head DVD player can not be reasoned with, it can’t be killed and it will hunt you until you are dead… While playing such DVDs as When Harry Met Sally or Beaches in it’s DVD head to pass the time while in the past.

In some sort of apocalyptic robot future, we may all be required to wear one of these to hide our identities. I call the name Mr. Roboto. It’s kind of like the emoticon version of the Micheal Myers mask, whether your just cold chillin’ at the park with your dog or stabbing somebody senselessly, it’s all creepy on the outside. It’s a research project from the Digital Media Design department at Hongik University in Korea.

The idea is to hide your facial expressions so people can’t see your emotions. Those around you won’t see your face, just the LEDs of death, that form emoticons. The default setting is no expression at all, but as you interact, the display will smile etc. Imagine a few people on your street wearing these while going about their daily business. Now imagine the entire street full of them. An entire town. I’m too creeped out to continue, but the point is that you WILL see a few with an axe or a machete.

You don’t have to wait for the robot uprising in order to mount a robot head on your wall. Not any longer. Though I have had several plain wood plaques already hung and ready near my shotgun. That way, when the day comes, I can just start taking heads and I will build a reputation throughout the wasteland. They will know that this human is not to be messed with. There are 11 different robotic animals like the one shown. Each robot has its own internal program which reacts with the outside environment thanks to its infrared sensor that makes the robots come to life and become aggressive towards anyone who comes near.