Hey, you gotta protect your hands. Just like you protect your package. What better way to baby your hands and protect them from all of the daily activities that can lead to damaged skin and chaffing etc?

Never fear. Tighty whities for your hands have arrived. Yes, these are underpants for your hands. Ladies will be inexplicably drawn to your hands, as if you were an underwear model. Which you kind of are. Times two. Only $11.95. Money well spent if you ask us.

The Storm Synth watch never ever wants you to know the time. So it hides it from you by mixing in the real hands with six fakes. The real hands both have tips. This means that glances won’t do. You’ll have to stare down your watch and actually focus to find the time.

Of course watch makers all want to be different and stand out from the crowd. Tokyoflash makes all kinds of watches that are tough to read. But c’mon. With this watch they’re just plain messing with us. They probably have a bet on how many they can actually sell.

These weird little figures are called Poken. They let you exchange contact details with someone else in a physical way. With high fives. And hey, Poken are cute. Why the hell not? The USB device comes in four varieties: bee, alien, panda and flaming skeleton. Odd combination to be sure, but I’m assuming they all get along just swell.

Just put your Poken’s hand up to your buddy’s, then when you plug yours into a USB port later, your friend’s contacts will automatically sync to your Poken account, which propogates to Facebook, MySpace and other networks. I’m sure it will all work out fine, because surely everyone that you know also has a Poken. Which is a requirement.

This hand-drying device is a turbo-charged hand dryer that supposedly has a “windscreen wiper” effect and it will dry both hands in just 10 seconds. Not only that, but the system runs four times faster than typical units, blasting air at around 400mpb on your hands.

That force will make the skin on your hands ripple, not burn as if you just touched the ark of the covenant. It’s also 80% more efficient than conventional dryers found in public restrooms. The device removes bacteria and mold from the air using HEPA filtration. Wastewater gets passed through an iodine resin filter to disinfect it, and then piezo crystal technology releases the sterilized water as harmless mist.

Do you carry an Umbrella when it rains? Many people don’t bother, because they know they will get just as wet whether they carry one or not. There’s just no point to it. That’s where the Nubrella comes in. It wants to protect you from the rain the way an umbrella should, protecting your head from all sides. It’s like your own personal transparent pod.

Another plus is that this umbrella doesn’t require any hands, which is good, because you usually have your hands full. There is a downside: This sort of thing is socially unacceptable and you will be mocked. But hey, you can be mocked, I don’t mind. It will pave the way for the rest of us to use it one day. You can pick one up for $60.