How many times have you been walking your dog and said to yourself, I wish I had a companion that would share the walk with me. If you then entertained the notion that failing an actual human, a dismembered hand would do just fine, then this is for you. And it will identify you easily so the rest of us can stay the hell away.

It’s the Hand-Shaped Dog Leash designed by Alice Wang. So that you can sway your hand and pretend that you have a special someone as you walk your dog.(Who must be intelligent enough to be scared of you and your corpse hand.)

The Xtensor is a weird workout glove designed to get your hands in shape for the big game on whatever console you choose. So, if you suck at playing video games, consider this your new personal trainer. It will condition your hands for maximum controller efficiency. Might even improve your action with rosy palm too, but I wouldn’t count on either.

What’s that? You also don’t believe this glove-like device can do anything for you, aside from making you look like an idiot? Check out the blurb below and see if that convinces you.

What you see above may or may not be real. But it certainly is ugly. It’s a phone for those of us who want to build muscles and always have a charged battery as a result. The idea is that by squeezing the grips that surround the unit like so much Charmin, you’d not only work on strengthening your finger muscles, but a forty second squeeze would charge the phone enough for use. They recommend twenty seconds for each hand.

Gimmick? You’re soaking in it. Other than that nonsense, which will have you breaking bones with each handshake, it’s a pretty simple, fugly yellow phone.

Sometimes going green can be a real pain. Take this green concept for instance. This iPhone hand grip charger will give you Hulk hands before you even get a full battery. Great for a hand workout, but you’d have to be pretty dedicated to your iPhone to stick with it.

This concept is called “You can work it out” and it was designed by Mac Funamizu, who must have huge beefy clown hands and an always working iPhone. Apple should offer some accessories like this ala Wii Fit. Various exercise gadgets to power up Apple products owned by the obese. It would be green and lean. That’s the slogan right there.

I thought this was mildly funny. And true. These people hate the iPhone. Though I’m sure some of you will want to arm yourself with this handy accessory. Enjoy.

Normally cranking your nuts by hand is frowned upon. I guess that’s no longer the case. Surprisingly, this tool was not designed for booty grabbing hijinx within automotive shops. I think. I’m really not sure why it was designed, but we love it. I’d be surprised if it worked as good as a regular wrench, but it’s a great way to add some comedy to your otherwise serious toolbox.

Everytime you adjust the fingers to fit your needs, it’s as if a little hand is holding two fingers up saying, “Do you love me this much?” and so forth. It’s all rather creepy, truth be told. I think it has to be used for evil. Yes, I think it must be made to pinch a woman’s butt at least once in it’s career.

Man, when I was a kid I had all kinds of mildly illegal fun with slingshots. These days, the slingshot seems to have been forgotten, which is a shame because it’s a good weapon. It was the weapon of choice for Dennis the Menace.

Until now that is. Like everything else, the slingshot has now had an upgrade. If I were a kid again, I’d definitely use one of these Ringshots. Instead of holding a Y-shaped weapon, this slingshot slips on your index finger and thumb. Not sure about pricing and availability, but I am sure it’s all kinds of evil fun.