You know Scott Summers, the dude from the X-Men? Yeah, this is his grandmother. Apparently, they share the same mutant gene, resulting in cyclops eyewear. Actually, this is the JORDY. (Joint Optical Reflective Display) A head-mounted magnifier from Enhanced Vision that let’s those with poor vision see objects at a distance. Great for race tracks and the like, making granny really stand out in her final years.

The thing has 4 viewing modes, full-color, black and white, high-contrast positive and negative. A 30x magnification, but you can get 50x with the optional desktop, auto-focus with digital zoom too. The name was clearly inspired by Geordi LaForge, the visor wearing Enterprise crew member. That being the case, you’d think they could have streamlined this thing a bit.

It all started on May 18th when a gorilla named Bokito escaped from the Rotterdam Zoo. It was during his daring escape that the animal attacked a female visitor, because he didn’t much care for the way her shifty eyes looked at him. Humans in charge decided that the woman’s direct eye contact led to the attack, since gorillas aren’t down with that.

That’s when health insurance company FBTO stepped in and offered a solution that makes everyone look like a dork. They distributed over 2,000 nerd glasses. Now instead of gorilla attacks, everyone kicks everyone elses ass and wedgies are a dime a dozen. You’ll note that in the upper right Luke Skywalker is chillin’ with a smoke, while below, Moby looks pretty much unchanged.

If you’re the type who eats Chinese food regularly, you no doubt have your own chopsticks. But where does one put them? How do you carry them around? Now they’ll be handy wherever you go. They will be stowed in your glasses.

Never be without chopsticks again. Just pull them out and start eating. You can also use them to hold your hair back, but if you do both it’s going to get messy. I suppose they are also handy as weapons should you need them. Even a stylus.

You too can now look cool and geeky as you cruise down the road on your favorite moped. All it takes is these new 1.3 Megapixel Spy Camera Sunglasses, available through ThinkGeek for around $100.

The 1.3 Megapixel Spy Camera Sunglasses can help you snap photos of that hot model in the Porsche next to you at the stoplight. The 1.3-megapixel lens is embedded in part of front of the frame, and she’ll never know you are shooting photos as you stare with drool apparent. She may think you are a bit creepy though, dusting you when the light turns green.