It’s not easy being an internet geek. We get that. And we feel for you. But please, get out once in a while. Meet someone. That’s a much better alternative to buying this iMaria app. It’s a sort of Playmate virtual girlfriend for the nerd that lacks everything.

iMaria is happy to stay at home and cook, or go out. It’s all good. She’s a virtual English girlfriend with a cute accent and a great personality, as well as a great pair of… And obviously it’s all very tame and lame thanks to iTunes no-porn policy. Which makes you even sadder if you buy this. Have fun watching her peel virtual potatoes in the virtual kitchen. Probably the highlight of your day.

You might remember this virtual nerd girlfriend from several months back. The Dennou AR Figures virtual 3D girlfriends are for those extra lonely nerds who don’t get out much. I think the idea is that you would want to check in on her now and then, apply spankings as needed and occasionally give her gifts, all safe in the knowledge that she can’t run or call the cops.

You install webcam software and when your camera detects the special cube onscreen, it puts a 3D companion into your environment. It’s available right now in Japan for $125. And we don’t want to know what you two do in your spare time. A slightly NSFW video below

It can be lonely being a geek. So it’s easy to understand why Drew Burrows created INBED, which is essentially an interactive virtual girlfriend. Just climb into bed with her, and she’ll snuggle up against you. If you lie on your side, she’ll even spoon. Sad thing is, she sleeps fully dressed and she’s only two dimensional, existing only because she is projected from the ceiling.

Infrared sensors watch you in the bed, altering the projection accordingly. She can even react to kisses buy burying her virtual face in a virtual pillow. Cute. But will this satisfy the geek or make him long even more for a real live woman? I don’t know, but your Star Wars toys in the corner aren’t helping.