Colonoscopies are not fun. They require nakedness with another man in the room(meaning your doctor). Even if you have a female doc, that’s just as bad. It’s all like a strange consensual alien abduction, only your memory isn’t erased. Sadly, they’re very necessary and can detect and prevent colon cancer. But there has to be a better way.

Wait. There is. Just do the procedure yourself with this harmless looking gadget that bears a lightning bolt and the name of a crap beer. A few beers before hand might be a good idea, before you get all up in your own business. And hey, you’ll feel better about it since you can use this thing in all kinds of dark tight places, not just your fat can.

The Soda Cup phone is a bit more stealthy then the average hamburger phone. The cord is the only thing that gives it away as a phone. If they had made a cordless model, it would fool everybody.

Just answer this phone in front of somebody and they will feel like they are on drugs. Dude that’s a phone? At $14, you can’t afford not to buy this smiley freckle faced fake cup with weird generic Soda name.

What do we have here? A new mystery swivel device that seems to feature a very tiny touchpad between the “mouse” buttons, but why not just make the entire display touch sensitive? Looks like a cross between an UMPC and a MID. This was snapped at Computex 2008 in Taipei in June.

Aside from the exterior, we don’t have any details. Your guess is as good as mine. The “P” symbol is probably where the Windows key is supposed to be. Who will carry the device if and when it ever comes out? What would be the operating system be? Tune in next time on “Mysteries of the swiveling kind”.

I would venture to guess that there’s not many of us looking for a stand-alone radio in the age of iPods. But if you do like carrying around an FM radio, why not make it this cute little cartoon mouse? He’s even got a spring tail, which I assume means that he’s happy to see you. Best of all, he’ll only cost you $6.99, but you’ll need 2 AAA batteries.

Sadly, you can’t even use this mouse as a portable mouse. If I were you I would hurry. Innovation like this won’t stay in stock for long. I haven’t seen such amazing vision in a gadget since the Creative Zen Moo.

Two tiny trains circle around this clock perched atop a mountain. This watch could easily cross the line into cheesiness, yet somehow it’s more cool then cheesy. The watch is made by Mr. Christmas, a company that actually has some cool Christmas gadgets.

The small trains move around the clock when you wind up the stem. Even plays the song “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad.” Okay, that part is cheesy. For $19.47, what the heck. Get into the Christmas spirit you grumps. These are two mini trains on a watch for god’s sake. That fit in your pocket.

You may or may not have a place in your car to place a gadget charger conveniently. That’s where this charger, shaped like a coffee cup, comes in handy. Chances are you have a cup holder, so just plug it into your cigarette lighter and sit in your cup holder. It converts the DC power from your vehicle into two 120-volt AC outlets and a USB port.

You’ll always have a spot available to charge up. Fits in any standard cup holder. This great solution is only $29.99. Hopefully you have two cupholders so you can still have your coffee too.

The e-Volve gadget shoulder holster evokes images of all those 70’s TV detectives packing some heat under a cheap suit. But somehow this just doesn’t look half as cool. Will this awkward bit of fashion usher in a slew of crappy “Gadget Detective” shows, complete with crap theme music and vintage intro? Man I hope so. “Others use guns. He uses gadgets”. Can you see it? Kind of like Beretta, Kojak and MacGuyver all in one.

This Shoulder Holster is made to carry multiple gadgets and help you get all that clutter out of your pockets. It’s fully-adjustable and form-fitting with small and large sized quick-access pouches for personal electronics. The holster has several straps to keep it securely in place. The e-Volve shoulder holster is already available and retails for $79.95, though its currently on sale for the holidays at $69.95.

The Fueltank is a charging device that actually has good looks. It’s from tech company Callpod and it allows you to charge two small electronic devices at the same time without the use of an outlet. Which makes it perfect for travel, when you need to charge your gadgets the most.

It contains a rechargeable lithium ion battery that holds more than 7 times the capacity of a standard mobile phone. It will sense the amount of power required to charge your devices and sports LED fuel capacity indicators that display when the charging indicator button is pressed. Fueltank will soon be available from callpod.com for $59.95. Never leave home without it.

Those who have been trying to make their desks look like Spocks science station will like this one. Plus you’re getting three gadgets in one; a speaker, a 4-port USB hub and a digital alarm clock with 12 or 24 hour mode.

Some other functions include a Loudspeaker, Blue Color Back Light, Speaker On/Off Switch and Volume Control, Built-in Audio Jack to connect to PC, MP3/MP4, iPod/iPhone or other audio device with 3.5mm audio jack. It uses 4 AAA Batteries. The only thing missing is Spock’s “Disk” wafers to load into it. Only $17.99. It might just impress Uhura in the next cubicle.

[Gizfever]

Over at Walyou they’ve compiled a list of 34 geek pumpkins. Some of them are pretty awesome works of art, while others make us realize that nerds have far too much time on their hands. I mean, who the hell thinks to themselves, “Today I’m going to carve Say Anything’s famous boombox scene into a Pumpkin”? Yeah I know. Not a thought I’m familiar with. Surely it’s the product of a demented mind. Anyway hit the link to check them all out.

We’ve seen our share of useless gadgets, no question about it. They don’t get more useless then the USB volcano. I mean, they could have done something cool with this. How about a little diorama with some ancient civilization dropping a virgin or two into the thing? What about making it a real lava spewer(Okay, nothing harmful that will melt flesh) that’s also a bank, where you have to feed it coins so it doesn’t go all Krakatoa all over your desk? Or what about having a tiny remote control robot in the case with the volcano that you can send in and get readings like a real science kind of deal?

But no. No, sadly this craptastic gadget is just a volcano with plastic lava beads that erupt out of the water-filled desktop toy. And you even have to provide the water. $18 if you are actually impressed.

If Professor Xavier were wheeling down the street and saw a young lady sporting these wings, she’d be enrolled in his school for the gifted quicker then Wolverine can flick his claws. I have to say, these wings look striking and almost sexual in a geek sort of way thanks to the great pics.

The wings are made of carbon fiber and extruded aluminum and the light on the wingtips can be customized in red, green, yellow, purple, or white. Apparently the wings can extend or retract 7 times before the air pressure has to be recharged. That will take 5-10 minutes. For $1,000 they can be yours. I’m hoping that this catches on and women start flying around looking extra hot, donning their wings as fashion accessories and swooping down to snatch up unsuspecting men like a hawk. That would make me happy.

I choose neither the light or the dark side, instead preferring to the subtle arts of the Geek side. Which is why I love these Star Wars USB hubs. Best of all, no Jar-Jar or Ewoks. Just your favorite droid and your favorite Sith Lord. The details are super nice too.

Both feature four full-speed USB ports in front. We think R2’s head moves every 3 minutes and lights up, and both have sound effects from the movies so you can re-inact scenes as often as you like. They’re Japan only for now, but it’s only a matter of time. Oh yes, I will have one.

With our lives being so hectic, it’s hard to de-stress. Which is probably why we turn to the computer to help us. After all, that’s where many of us spend large amounts of time. The Sweety concept will help. Or so they claim. Personally, I don’t see how.

This thing looks like Kenny from South Park. After he died and attained ghostly form. Now on a flowery surf board. He’s come back not to haunt, but to calm you via graphic patterns on the screen under his hood. Apparently Sweety can also play interactive games with you as you manipulate its soft body by squeezing. That aint right at all.

The Lexon Around Clock isn’t about giving you the precise time. It’s about giving you a rough idea. You’ll know it’s somewhere around 10:45 thanks to the red wire, you just won’t be sure of the exact time. Shunning the traditional clock shape, they’ve basically taken the Price is Right prize wheel, thrown the prizes away and put it on it’s side to give you the time. It’s available for $45.