I choose neither the light or the dark side, instead preferring to the subtle arts of the Geek side. Which is why I love these Star Wars USB hubs. Best of all, no Jar-Jar or Ewoks. Just your favorite droid and your favorite Sith Lord. The details are super nice too.

Both feature four full-speed USB ports in front. We think R2’s head moves every 3 minutes and lights up, and both have sound effects from the movies so you can re-inact scenes as often as you like. They’re Japan only for now, but it’s only a matter of time. Oh yes, I will have one.

With our lives being so hectic, it’s hard to de-stress. Which is probably why we turn to the computer to help us. After all, that’s where many of us spend large amounts of time. The Sweety concept will help. Or so they claim. Personally, I don’t see how.

This thing looks like Kenny from South Park. After he died and attained ghostly form. Now on a flowery surf board. He’s come back not to haunt, but to calm you via graphic patterns on the screen under his hood. Apparently Sweety can also play interactive games with you as you manipulate its soft body by squeezing. That aint right at all.

The Lexon Around Clock isn’t about giving you the precise time. It’s about giving you a rough idea. You’ll know it’s somewhere around 10:45 thanks to the red wire, you just won’t be sure of the exact time. Shunning the traditional clock shape, they’ve basically taken the Price is Right prize wheel, thrown the prizes away and put it on it’s side to give you the time. It’s available for $45.

We all know that Golf is a game for old men with weak bladders and young men who drink too much. It all adds up to a long day and alot of peeing in the rough. But if you want to be lazy about it, why bother leaving the green at all? Urologist Floyd Seskin went above and beyond the call of urine duty by making this possible. How you ask? It’s simple.

Just place a towel over your stuff and unscrew the cap of this club that looks like a 7-iron, and relieve yourself as fast as you can, so you don’t get caught. It will hold up to a half liter. Now, I’ve never measured my own homebrew so I have no idea how much to expect. I just know that it would suck to get a bunch of sprayback all over me. The upside of this fake iron is that it feels good to relieve yourself. The downside is that to everyone else it just looks like you’re going to town on a 7 iron behind a towel.

Any fan of Doctor Who knows that the Sonic Screwdriver can open all kinds of locks and it acts as a screwdriver, wrench and all around locksmith. Now you can have your own. It might not do everything it does on the show, but it works as a hidden ultraviolet pen with a special UV light.

You’ll be able to scribble secret messages which can only then be revealed using the sonic screwdriver. It also features sound effects you know, for your geek play time when you want to pretend. It also includes a spare standard ink nib and a wipe on wipe off psychic note pad. The Sonic Screwdriver retails for £9.99. It won’t get you a pretty companion to travel space and time with.

Here’s a perfect addition to your already batman heavy themed home or cubicle. When Commissioner Gordon tries to call you with the red phone and you aren’t home or in your Bat cave, this ought to get your attention.

All anyone needing the services of their friendly neighborhood bat need do is flip the switch, and this desktop device will project a Bat-Signal an impressive 16 feet! Batman will likely not show up. But prepare to lure nerds in from everywhere heeding the call and thinking there’s a Comic Con nearby.

If you’ve had a burning desire to have your workspace all pimped out in neon signs, like “Eat At Joes” and such, by God this is your lucky day. Maybe you just never got to Vegas and have been feeling left out. These USB signs will surely light up your lack of a life.

They have a Smiley, Bar, and “@” all in their Neon glory and they work for both PC and Mac. Just plug it in via USB and switch it on and it will be like a trip to Times Square in your living room or office. They retail for DKK 99,00.

Do you carry an Umbrella when it rains? Many people don’t bother, because they know they will get just as wet whether they carry one or not. There’s just no point to it. That’s where the Nubrella comes in. It wants to protect you from the rain the way an umbrella should, protecting your head from all sides. It’s like your own personal transparent pod.

Another plus is that this umbrella doesn’t require any hands, which is good, because you usually have your hands full. There is a downside: This sort of thing is socially unacceptable and you will be mocked. But hey, you can be mocked, I don’t mind. It will pave the way for the rest of us to use it one day. You can pick one up for $60.

Someone had to do it eventually. The question is why? Because they can, is enough of a reason apparently. They took a simple 800dpi laser mouse with scroll wheel and combined it with a miniature vacuum cleaner. It’s got a power switch on the side for turning the vacuum function on and off. Problem is this mouse needs to be connected to a USB port in order to get enough power to run the motor.

The dust reservoir can be accessed in the back-end of the mouse, but being so small, you would probably need to empty it very often. If you are a real clean freak, this is the mouse for you. You’ll be able to clean your mousepad as you click.

Forget batteries or an outlet. How about a clock that is powered by any liquid? Well, almost any. You wouldn’t want it to run on urine, though I bet it would work. Once you fill it up, the LCD display will provide the time and date while it draws power from the electrons in the water.

It’s cheap at $13 and if you already have plants to water, you won’t forget to water your clock. Of course, if you have been known to kill plants, you will probably be clueless as to what time it is. Just make it easy on yourself by giving the clock a drink everytime you have one and you should be alright. I can’t figure out what the mirror finish is all about.

Some people waste half of the roll when getting a paper towel. You would think that it would be a fairly easy thing to take just what you need. Anyone who has ever had wasteful roommates knows what I’m talking about.

This automatic dispenser promises to make it easy to grab just what you need. It will also help keep the spread of germs in your kitchen down to a minimum. With a touch-free sensor it can give you one, two sheets or even one of those tiny half sheets, just by waving your hand. You can get one for $53.99 and start saving money by not wasting paper towels. It helps the environment too.

Everybody gets stressed. It’s the nature of our fast paced civilization. The StressEraser wants to help. So just calm down, find your zen place and read on. Ahhh, that’s better. Deep breaths. The device claims to be an an award winning biofeedback medical device. It’s designed to calm your mind and relax your body in under 15 minutes. The idea is to focus your mind and guide your breathing by synchronizing it with a “calming” BreathWave patten. Daily 15 minute nighttime sessions have to be done before sleep to calm your nerves.

Stay in your special spot. We’re almost finished. Picture yourself gently gliding through clouds. Your deep regular breaths are your propulsion…Holy crap! That jet almost rammed you. That couldn’t have helped your nerves any. Back to the StressEraser. It can also be used during the day if you’re feeling stressed. Measuring 3.75″ x 2.5″ x 0.6″, the device is designed to be carried around. I’ll hope you’re still calm, because the price tag is $299.

This little bottle opener has a LCD display that keeps track of how many beers you’ve opened, because as you know when you get to a certain point, you have no clue where you are, let alone how many beers you’ve consumed. You would think that constantly emptying your bladder would be some indication.

So, if you lose track and need a visual indicator of when you should stop, this little device will come to your rescue. I suppose it’s also handy if a bunch of drunks are in one room and one guy needs to brag. Note: It won’t make ugly women look better…The beer already handles that.