It’s a historical fact that Pirates don’t have a lot to say. They communicate mostly with scowls and grunts. When they do have to say something while sailing the high seas, plundering booty and hunting for treasures, it’s usually just “Arrrrr”.

So a Pirate’s keyboard keeps things simple with just the basic essential pirate keys. Arrrrrr. Avast. Even this keyboard, simple as it is, is hard to operate with a hook hand.

Adolph was really looking forward to the iPod Touch getting a camera. We all were. I mean there’s a space for a camera in the thing. Why didn’t it get a camera? He makes a good point. I’m sure he’s not alone when he says that he will no longer drink the kool-aid.

Why does the Nano get all of the cool new features? Be warned, there’s a bit of bad language in the subtitles.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
If you’re in the market for a Zune, why would you buy it from anywhere else? Nick’s Zune warehouse sells Zunes by the pound. They are totally dedicated to this, the most awesome portable media player ever. Remember this guy? Forget him. He missed out.

Come December 31st, you’ll be sorry you didn’t take advantage of Nick’s amazing deals. Nick’s an amazing pitchman, with the foresight to fill a whole warehouse with a highly desirable product. C’mon, help the guy out.

I bet you have an old VCR lying around that you’ve been dying to dissect, but you just haven’t gotten to it yet. What are you waiting for? Do you not want another iPod Touch? Wait. Do you have marshmallows?

Or maybe it’s the thought of the little monster inside that has you scared. Just do it already. What’s the worst that could happen?

We love the Wii. Especially when it uses the Wiimote and other attachments properly, so it’s not all gimmicky. But Wii Breakfast may be taking it to extremes.

See for yourself in the Idiots Of Ants’ leaked gameplay footage below. The developer really went to town on the peripherals, which help you make toast, pour milk and read a newspaper. Oh yeah. Also Wii Sausages.

If the first rule of human “Fight Club” is “You don’t talk about Fight Club”, we can safely assume that it’s the same with the robot version.

The date: Wednesday, February 11. The place: A secret underground location. A place where robot enthusiasts gather to compete in one of the most hilariously funny, Robot “Fight Club” sessions ever. The bouts loosely follow the Pro-Wrestling format used by humans. I think that’s what makes it so funny.

Why did I not think of this? With the Baby mop, having a baby means never having a dirty floor again. It’s brilliant! They call them rugrats because they are always crawling all over the floor anyway. Junior can make himself useful while he’s whining about that overflowing diaper. Put some elbow grease into it, give it a little drool for that extra shine.

It lets you get on with neglect while baby learns a work ethic. Child services may not like it, but I bet their floor is filthy. Too bad there’s no purchase information. Probably just a gag. Too bad, cause I think some swiffer pads on the opposite side would complete the suit.

A remote control for your cat. No batteries are required as it’s powered by positive thinking. Just point it at your cat, press some buttons on the remote and hope for the best.

Some of the buttons include “Stop Scratching”, “Show Affection”, “Remain Aloof”, “Meow”and others. Your cat will be doing what you command it to in no time. Only $7. The “Fur Ball” button is loads of fun.

Now here’s an entertaining 8 minute video that will have you thanking god you didn’t work for the big N in 1991. I can’t imagine being made to actually watch this stuff because it was my job. It’s a customer service training video that shows employees how to handle all kinds of customers who want to return merchandise and also happen to be stereotypes.

You’ll see a bald dude try to get his money back for an NES that’s encrusted all over with some sort of mega-funk that makes it stick to the employee’s hands, a nerd that can’t work a gameboy and some nice lady who learns how to plug the controller into port 1 and likes to bake pies as thank you currency.

Some of you might consider this NSFW, even though it isn’t really. There’s no nudity. Here’s the synopsis: Some creepy guy at the office is telling a story about the office hottie and his Lenovo W700ds. He starts bragging about one of it’s features. Next thing you know they’re playing strip poker. In this case, she strips everytime the w700ds beats her laptop. Then it’s time to brag about his second screen and she strips all the way. It all ends with a joke about how big it is and a “That’s what she said” joke.

CNET thinks this came from inside Lenovo, but who knows. It’s stupid yes, and dorky. But also genius as marketing. Sadly in the real world, women aren’t that impressed with laptop specs. Unless I’ve been hanfing with the wrong women.

Apples new endeavor that is sure to win Greenpeace’s heart? Just some people attaching decals to the fruit before they ripen. Could have something to do with some new Mac/Supermarket cult I suppose.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Check out this awesome short from the fine minds over at CollegeHumor. They really nailed this one. What if The Matrix ran on Windows? Some of the results are what you might expect. They did a really good job on this one.

I’m sure it’s not easy being a blonde, what with all the jokes and everything. Now I’m not saying those jokes are well deserved, I’m just saying they made a special keyboard for ya. First off, it’s pink, so you’re probably intrigued already right? The designers have also made things easier for you with some special keys.

You’ll get a lot of use out of the MySpace spacebar, while Enter= Yes, I want it. Delete= “Oops” and T= TC4S, too cool for school. S= “SOS”, shoes on sale. Seems like they covered everything. I hope all of that technical talk didn’t confuse you. The numbers even look like dice rather than plain old digits. With this keyboard, every moment you type is a blonde moment.

Obama has an iPhone app, so it’s only fitting that John McCain have one too. Here you can interact with the cranky maverick and get him to make all of his weird old man grunts, say “My friends” and such. It’s not official, and may only work on jailbroken iPhones, but this is way too much fun. You can even put the old sour-puss to sleep when he gets too cranky.

It’s tough to get a good night’s sleep when you’re in the middle of a good dream and suddenly you’re assaulted by advertisements. There you are playing poker with Sigmund Freud, Superman and Seinfeld when suddenly you’re looking at an ad for penis enlargement instead of a king of clubs.

The Dream Captcha can help. Inspired by Native American dream catchers, it will protect you and your dreams from pop-ups,viagra ads, and all sorts of other dream-spam. Sadly, you’ll have to make one yourself, since it isn’t available for sale.