Vertu is a British-based company that produces luxury mobile phones and they’re celebrating their 10th anniversary with a special event. The company is launching another luxury series, called the Constellation Rococo Collection. The stylish devices are inspired by eighteenth century French art, fashion and the interior design movement by the same name.

The series will go on sale this summer and will be available in noir, scarlet, ivory and an exclusive sapphire edition. The sapphire edition has a cabochon sapphire for a center button, cabochon sapphire screws, and of course Rococo patterns engraved onto the bezel. No pricing available yet, but my guess is it will not be cheap.

Yes, buying this French maid PC case is as good as admitting that you have not yet had, and likely never will have relations with the opposite sex. And if your first reaction was wood, followed by a burning desire for an upskirt shot in the hopes of finding your new favorite USB port, I suggest you buy this sawed off plaything and go to town. Real girls everywhere will thank you for removing yourself from the gene pool.

Be warned. It costs a hefty $499. And you don’t even get boobs. In geek money that translates to about 10 Wii games. It’s only about 1/4 of a woman in it’s current state anyway. It might be fun to mix and match different body parts, both under and above this torso. You know, give it some Amphibian legs, with a terminator exoskeleton top or something.