Given the diet of most Americans, you better decide which you want to spend your day doing, fishing or on the toilet. Cause with so little fiber in your diet, you probably can’t manage both. Or can you? Thanks to the Potty Fisher, you can have the best of both worlds.

Clog up the tank you are sitting on while fishing for magnetic fish in the tank in front. It combines a man’s two favorite hobbies, fishing and spending hours in the bathroom.

Fish are cool to look at, but keeping them alive and healthy is hard work. Seiko Clock and Takara have come up with a gadget that lets you have fish with zero maintenance. Sadly the animated fish look like they are being displayed on a Gameboy. The device displays the time and reacts to your touch.

You can use it as a typical alarm clock or a night light too. It will also project dolphins and other marine life onto your wall when you open the dome. It has four display modes, an external projector, Touch sensor dome, 5 level volume settings and comes with an AC Adapter.

While you were busy back-to-school shopping, robots have been busy colonizing our world. As usual. We’re so glad that your kid has some new pencils, a fly laptop, a new haircut and a trapper keeper, but that ain’t gonna save us from our future. You need to be putting little Timmy into a John Conner bootcamp so he can learn the fine art of killing things with no souls. Well, you can lead a human to water, but you can’t make him think. Here’s some of what we covered over at Botropolis this week:

Simon: A deceptively cute harbinger of doom.

MIT’s Robot Fish: The seas shall run red with blood. Yours and mine.

Robots Kissing: The revolution won’t be televised, but robot kissing will.

Phasma Insect Robot: A swarm of robot locusts will soon block out the sun.

We may never be able to swim as fast as fish, but guys like Ted Ciamillo are hard at work to make sure we can at least get second place. The Greek engineer has come up with a contraption called Lunocet, which is basically a dolphin-inspired 2.5 pound monofin.

It’s lightweight and made of carbon fiber and fiberglass, and spans almost a meter. It’s capable of propelling swimmers almost 33 miles per hour, converting nearly 80 percent of the applied energy into thrust. The appendage is efficient, lightweight and fast. And can propel swimmers almost twice the speed of Michael Phelps.

This 3-in-1 gadget gives you a USB 2.0 compliant 4-port hub, a decorative and completely fake aquarium and it will also hold your cell phone, in case you want it to sleep with the fishes. The device glows when connected and in case you failed to recognize the complete lack of quality, don’t be surprised that it will only cost you $9.99.

It holds fake fish, ocean scenery and a Nokia. With USB ports. What more do you want?

The idea behind this gadget is that it’s never too early to teach kids the value of a dollar with a freaky fish banker. Every time your kid inserts a coin into the bank, a fish named Gill (haha) will reward your kid with an animation. Thing is, with Cartoon network available to your kid, I don’t think he’s gonna give a tuna what some gameboy-colored fish has to say.

Anyhow, the money they deposit is automatically counted and the total savings is displayed on screen. If that’s not enough, your kid will now be responsible for feeding old Gill and keeping his tank clean. Yeah right. It was nice knowing you Gill! This is gonna be either way too much fun or hardly any for $52. I call the latter.

So you love the ocean. You have everything that Jacques Cousteau has ever done on DVD and you spend all of your spare time in the water cataloging undersea critters, not to mention being in the broadway production of Finding Nemo. So it’s no surprise that a plain old USB flash drive just won’t fit into your life.

This flash drive on the other hand is perfect for your fish-fetish. Apparently the firefly squid is a big deal in Japan. Each spring it comes to the surface for an elaborate mating ritual filled with blue bioluminescence. But I’m sure you knew that already fish-geek. It’s only $70 and holds 2GB. Just don’t set it on your Aquarium sink, it might confuse your fish.

Let’s say you love fish, but have no extra room for an aquarium. That’s where putting fish in your sink comes in real handy. Or maybe you have so many fish, you’ve run out of places to put them. I’m sure it will be loads of fun watching the fish freak out every time you wash your hands.

It’s got everything you need, and is completely watertight, with a sand bed for the fish, lighting, circulation, oxygenation and filtration. The two openings under the soap dishes, allow access so you can clean it. The fish get some room to swim and you get a chrome finished brass stand with a front towel rail for only $4,700.

Fish TV makes fishing more like a police stakeout. You’ll still be bored for hours, but the device will let you see what’s going on in the murky depths while you smoke away and eat take out food. Occasionally you’ll say to your buddy, “Subject is coming in to have a look. He’s thinking about taking the bait. Wait. Negative. Suspect fled.”

Fish TV gives you up to 50 feet of camera cable and the camera itself is equipped with infra-red lights that boost image brightness in the water. Your show will not be in color though, but black and white. The device retails for $99.99.

Sometimes it’s like they just combine stuff together and hope the end result is great. I can’t decide if this combo of fish and USB hub is proof of designers on drugs or brilliance.

But, if you are lacking a little fish friend in your life, maybe this one’s for you, fake fish and all. It’s even got a few shells, some greenery and real water. If that’s not enough, it illuminates, cycling through four different colors. It will only cost you $12 and there’s no danger at all of you killing it from lack of attention.