File this one under Strong Enough For A Man But Made For A Woman…We’ve seen the evil that is the Hello Kitty brand on almost everything. Here it is in it’s toughest manly form ever… On a power sander. Um, let me just say that if I hired a construction contractor and he showed up with Hello Kitty tools, my faith in the structural soundness of anything he built would go out the window.

Would such a man even be able to get employees? I don’t know, but I’d be willing to bet that he’s got a pink laptop. In fact, the more I think about it, the more disturbed I am by such a man. Further proof that we aren’t exactly breeding any John Waynes these days.

This is probably a hoax, but if not then I’m sure this was given to Tenacious D by the devil, so they can keep in touch and have more rock-offs. Aside from being obviously horny, it claims to have a stunning 666 days of standby time.

I don’t know about that, but this handset has a 32,800mAh “super battery” and features a dual SIM, GSM900/DCS1800 support and a 3″ display. It retails for $128, but you can probably work something out where you save the money and sign away your soul.