On one hand, you can be saved from certain death in a disaster situation, on the other, a robot must swallow you in order to get you to safety. So do I lay there bleeding or let a robot eat me? Decisions. I think I’ll lay there for awhile, because I don’t know if it has teeth or not.

If you are going to convince people to be rescued by robots, maybe your video should not be titled “Human body shredding machine in Japan”. You know? Drag me, lift me up and throw me, even grab me by the scruff of the neck and carry me to safety, but I ain’t gettin’ in your belly.

Calling 911 can save your life, but there are some situations where if you talk, you are endangering your life further. Maybe you are hiding from a dangerous killer for instance. Or maybe you had a stroke and can’t talk. Well now Iowa County has launched the Nation’s First 911 via text message.

So far, the service is only available to residents of Black Hawk County who subscribe to a T-Mobile service provider, but that could grow. Emergency text messages can be helpful for deaf, hard-of-hearing or mute victims who find themselves in a dangerous situation.

Skyscrapers are literally everywhere. Which means that you have to think about safety in times of danger. During the 9/11 attacks people were jumping out of the World Trade Center and falling to their death. What if they had had a way to at least try to get down safely?

Kevin Stone has designed the Rescue Reel, a device to help people vacate skyscrapers in during just such emergencies. Much like a fishing reel, the device is a simple harness to lower people to the ground, letting the individual plan his own escape. The user would open a small container, which is hooked to an anchor, then the user can slip into a one size fits all harness and use automatically controlled centrifugal braking to manage their descent.

Flat tires stink. specially if you don’t have a spare with you. You could drive home with 3 tires and a rim, but that just leads to a shower of sparks as you tear up the asphalt and ruin your rim. The AirMan Tire Repair System will fix your flat tire “at the touch of a button”.

It works by injecting some kind of sealant into the flat tire while inflating it at the same time. So it should be a useful thing to keep in your car. They claim that it’s fast and give you safe driving for 200 miles, which should be enough to get you where you need to go.

This one is a great device for the adventurer, whether you are on the high seas, trekking through swampland, or in the jungle. Bear Grylls will definitely want to get one of these. It’s called the Weather Mate and comes from designer Samuel Jones. It’s an emergency weather radio that will automatically notify you of a flood, high winds, storms, tornadoes and other weather conditions that can potentially harm you.

The device is easy-to-navigate and though it looks alien, features a 6-LED flashlight, a full spectrum of NOAA weather frequencies, LCD Screen, circuit board, radio receiver and a speaker. It can be powered by a battery or it can run off of the dynamo by winding the rear crank handle.

In these troubled times, you don’t want a super expensive phone with all the bells and whistles… Okay, you do, but for a moment let’s just pretend. The Disposable Pre-Paid Phone concept is one of the most basic handsets you could hope to find. The idea is that it would be affordable enough for anyone to purchase for use in an emergency situation.

Which makes sense. You would want a portable phone you can wear it around your wrist, for Dick Tracy type emergencies. How billing would work is anybody’s guess. But it looks great in Wii-white. No alphanumeric keypad here, which is lame. Sometimes in an emergency, sending text messages is a good idea.

Hey, why not? Your door knob is already bulb shaped and that is where you enter a room from. Designer Jeong-Sun Park’s Knob Light has an internal generator that stores energy to light it up during emergencies.

Emergencies like waking up in the middle of the night and having to go pee-pee, apparently. I’m guessing that turning the knob will generate some power as kinetic energy, but I don’t see this as a great idea. Is it always on? If so, that’s a waste. If it simply stores power and has to be manually activated, that’s not going to help much in an emergency.

The Heatsheets Survival Blanket is for emergency situations, not for those who have a weird cocoon fetish. Anyway, I’m pretty sure you can’t eat your way out of it after metamorphosis. It fits two people and conveniently has survival and first-aid instructions printed directly on the blanket.

The bright orange color makes it easier for rescuers to spot, though with both people in it and moving around it would probably look like the blob from a helicopter. Hopefully they will want to investigate rather then call for an airstrike. Apparently it reflects up to 90% of radiated body heat so don’t be afraid to get a little frisky while waiting for help. Say, did it occur to anyone that you might have to leave the safety of the blanket to read some of those fancy first-aid instructions? That’s not good if you are in freezing conditions.

Anyone who has ever been caught in a sudden harsh downpour knows that it sucks to not have an umbrella. You probably also know that newspapers can help to at least keep most of it off your head.

This green concept is from designer Shiu Yuk Yuen and uses disgarded newspapers as your umbrella canopy. Just unscrew the top piece, secure the paper and screw the lid back on. The user could use almost any material they want, limited only by their inventiveness. It’s a very clever idea. There is one big flaw in the design however. If I can’t find a newspaper or some other thing to screw in place, I’m drenched.

At last, a concept that lets you line up someone’s nipples and give them new life. The idea is that you would have this handy if someone collapses and needs CPR. It’s not intended for any kinky nipple fetish you may have.

Just slap it on the chest, line up nipples and follow the instructions. It flashes to show you the proper timing, and clicks to let you know if you’re using the right pressure. It just might help save a life or two.

First Aid kits are a must to have handy. You never know when you might be on the scene at an accident. But how many of us know how to properly use the supplies inside? Soon, you’ll have a little help. This kit will have individually wrapped medical supplies and more importantly, step-by-step audio instructions that will help you treat many injuries.

The idea is to help people with little or no first aid training. Not only do you have audio aid, but color-coding of packages and illustrations help you get the job done. It will cost $130 and each kit will come with a flashlight.

Let’s say you drive around in an old heap and your battery dies. You need a jump, but you don’t have jumper cables and no one wants to help. With the Porta Jump, you won’t need any help at all. It doesn’t require jumper cables or helpful strangers.

Just plug it in your cigarette lighter and wait for the green light to turn on. It’s that easy. Done. You are back in the business of driving around in a heap. As an added bonus, it will recharge while you are driving. This is a good $20 spent. Ideal for damsels in distress as it’s much safer then asking a stranger for help and possibly running into a nutjob.

If you’re the type who wants to be prepared for any eventuality, this Swiss Tech BodyGard Platinum 7-in-1 Multi-Function Emergency Tool may be your new best friend. Along with futuristic good looks, it sports an Automatic Glass Breaker, a Safety-Blade Seat Belt Cutter, Powerful Sonic Alarm, High Intensity High and Low Beam Bright White LED Flashlight, Digital Tire Gauge, a Thermometer and a Flashing Red Distress Light for Signaling and High Visibility.

It’s powered by lithium batteries. To summarize, if you are stuck in your car for some reason, it will allow you to break your window, then cut your seat-belt and get out. Once out of the vehicle, you can alert the whole area with the sonic alarm, while you check out your dark surroundings with the high intensity flashlight. While you are waiting for others to see what the hell the noise is all about, check your tires with the gauge and stick a thermometer in your tailpipe burger. You know, so you don’t get E-coli. Then just turn on the devices Red Distress Light and eat your dinner until help arrives. Yes, this device makes for an adventurous evening. I think I’ll get one.