It’s beginning to look a lot like a redneck Christmas…I mean how much do you have to drink during a typical day, to say to yourself, “I need that there hat!”. If you see nothing odd about this bottle opener hat, then chances are pretty good that you attend Nascar races while simultaneously courting your sister. In case it’s not obvious, the Guinness Bottle Opener Baseball Cap has a metal hook on the brim to tear off caps, and it’s officially licensed by the beer company and all.

The cap sells for $25, which isn’t too bad if you absolutely must have it. But you’re probably thinking that your teeth have done the job thus far, and they can probably open another couple hundred beers. Cuz that $25 should really go toward brew.

The Last Call iPhone app tells you how drunk you are, because you are probably way too far gone to judge for yourself. It determines this using your weight and how many drinks you’ve had already. It also calculates your drunkenness by what type of alcoholic beverages you’ve consumed, and it will even offer advice on what to do next now that you’re three sheets to the wind.

If you’re too blitzed to drive, you can press a button and it will call a taxi for you. Best of all, it’s free, which means more booze money. Now all you need is an app that shows how much of your liver is still healthy and calculates how much more drinking you can do until your final days.

In keeping with the spirit of the season, here’s something to help you get drunk that also doubles as a creepy prop. It’s a Skull Beer Funnel with spinal column attached. If you’re the Predator, just pass on this one and go rip your own from some human. Humans, it’s illegal to do what the Predator does, so don’t do it. Buy this instead.

It’s Halloween, which means that it’s perfectly acceptable to guzzle some brew from human remains for God’s sake. When you get too drunk on the way home, it doubles as a handy vomit-catcher. It’s all cool. It’s how Grim Reapers party.

GPS navigation systems are a dime a dozen, but this one can tell whether you’re drunk or not. One thing. If you need this to tell you when you’ve had too much to drink, you obviously drink way too much. The G400 GPS navigation system features an integrated alcohol sensor on the side and it can tell how much alcohol per liter is in your blood.

If vehicle manufacturers are able to make use of this GPS navigation system in the future, and stop the vehicle from starting with a drunk driver at the …