Construction sites are dangerous. That’s why we have hard-hats. I can’t think of a worse place to be drinking on the job. But this Bottle-opener hammer from Harbor Freight makes it okay to have a cold one, whether you’re staggering on scaffolding or nailing your buddy’s hand to a wall.

Don’t worry about the job. It will get done when it gets done. Bill’s head will heal from that fall and Foreman Mike didn’t really need that leg anyway. Work is so much more adventurous when the booze flows.

Lost beer is a serious problem. The longer it remains lost, the warmer it gets and the less drunk you are. Plus, the drunker you get, the easier it is to lose your beer. This here Beer Pager will let you know where your beer is at all times and will emit a belching sound from up to 60 feet away through walls.

The Beer Pager is available now for just under $20 and will stop beer loss in it’s tracks. Because as long as you have beer, everything is right with the world.

Listen up frat boys and alcoholics. There’s a new game in town that aims to get you nice and plastered. It’s one part dice game and one part alcohol and goes by the appropriate name, Loaded Dice. The game is simple to play.

Just fill the shot glass, slam it down, do whatever the die tells you to do. The drunker you get, the easier it is to play and the less you care about the rules. Who’s ready for a game? I’ll take on all of you.

The coolest thing my Hot Wheels cars ever did was go in loops real fast and lose a little paint with each crash. What you see above is a hot wheels track that was hacked into a margarita dispenser. The track is set up with a series of microswitches and a Basic Stamp 1 board to communicate that your Hot Wheels cars have completed the tricks performed.

That’s when this system rewards you as a 12-volt pump fills up the margarita cup from the pre-mixed gas can full of alcohol. I’m guessing the more you play this game, the funner it gets. It’s the new nerd drinking game of choice for modders and Hot Wheels enthusiasts alike.

Drink to your Viking Gods and celebrate life with this Viking Horn Beer Bong. Praise Odin as you take beer in through the horn and pass vomit out as you burn and pillage your liver.

It has multiple uses too. Are you one of those 70 year olds that still loves to party? Drink up then hold it to your ear so you can hear all the goings on around you. This product is begging to be endorsed by Flavor Flav and marketed with a Viking helmet.

The Last Call iPhone app tells you how drunk you are, because you are probably way too far gone to judge for yourself. It determines this using your weight and how many drinks you’ve had already. It also calculates your drunkenness by what type of alcoholic beverages you’ve consumed, and it will even offer advice on what to do next now that you’re three sheets to the wind.

If you’re too blitzed to drive, you can press a button and it will call a taxi for you. Best of all, it’s free, which means more booze money. Now all you need is an app that shows how much of your liver is still healthy and calculates how much more drinking you can do until your final days.

In keeping with the spirit of the season, here’s something to help you get drunk that also doubles as a creepy prop. It’s a Skull Beer Funnel with spinal column attached. If you’re the Predator, just pass on this one and go rip your own from some human. Humans, it’s illegal to do what the Predator does, so don’t do it. Buy this instead.

It’s Halloween, which means that it’s perfectly acceptable to guzzle some brew from human remains for God’s sake. When you get too drunk on the way home, it doubles as a handy vomit-catcher. It’s all cool. It’s how Grim Reapers party.

Meet the new arcade driving cabinet named Octane 120, from Dream Arcades. It comes with a built-in keg-o-rator, the beer tap placed conveniently on the dash next to the steering wheel. Yeah, that’s a great driving habit to cultivate. That way when you get into a real car, you’ll be good and ready to drunk drive, your skills having been honed to perfection. Seriously, most of us aren’t that stupid, but there is that 1% out there that somehow haven’t been purged from society from eating lead paint and the like.

This thing is great for video game parties and would be the center of attention. Your game throne if you will. You get a 120-inch projection screen, a home theater PC with 12 racing games pre-loaded, a PS3-compatible steering wheel if you want to hook one up, and a 5.1 surround system all for $7,000.

The Bierstick is the way to go if you want to out-chug all of your friends. That, or baste a large turkey. It’s pretty simple to operate. Just fill it with 2 cans of your favorite brew, insert in mouth, and ram the other end against a wall. Now that’s $20 well spent.

They say that if you do it right, you’ll have chugged both beers in 2 seconds. Sounds kinda dangerous to me. Oh well, it will all come back up again in no time. I wonder which is faster, chugging with the Bierstick or puking it back up?