Forget real-time translation of speech from one human to another. What we really need is to understand what our dogs are saying. TheRe’s an app for that. One that will translate what your dog is saying. The technology actually won the 2002 Ig Nobel Peace Prize.

It’s called BowLingual and it’s about to be ported to the iPhone as an app from the App Store. So just what is the ‘Ig Nobel Prize’? Wikipedia says that “It’s an American parody of the Nobel Prizes and are given each year in early October for ten achievements that “first make people laugh, and then make them think”.

Look, we know how you feel about Fluffy. You love your little pooch enough to care for him/her and keep them around forever. If there were a way, short of cutting his head off and freezing it for future generations to re-animate him, you would make Fluffy immortal so he could live forever.

There may be a way. And as usual it is the Japanese who have shown us. If you have way too much money and little common sense, you can slow the doggy aging process. Just like these two chihuahuas inside an anti-aging oxygen therapy chamber at a dog salon in Japan.

To many people pets are just as loved as their children. So why not protect them from getting lost with the RoamEO Pup dog collar. It contains a GPS receiver so you can detect where your pet is if he/she wanders off to sniff far away butts and pee on far away trees.

The collar broadcasts to the LCD handset receiver which can track up to 2 collars at once. The signal from the collars is detectable up to 3 miles from the receiver. It comes with a built-in battery that will last between 18 and 30 hours.

April 1st. Are you sick of all the shenanigans, hijinx and tomfoolery yet? I have one more for you. Here’s the first laptop for dogs. The PetBook K9 from Toshiba.

100% Organic Rawhide Casing is easily chewed. Built-in DoggyCam for Canine Video Conferencing. Pawprint Reader for extra security. Also features Bark-to-text software. Complete with bone shaped touchpad and is slobber resistant.

Those who live in Japan never know when the next big earthquake is going to hit. So the order of the day is to be prepared. Be prepared for the earthquake and if you have pets, be prepared to be a sucker and get them a cat or dog survival suit. It comes with a few essentials and a few items strictly thrown in to get your sucker money.

The items? Water & Biscuits which of course are required for your pet’s survival. Aromatherapy oils…so your pet can be safe from the smell of death in a disaster? Four rubber shoes for their delicate feet…Presumably so Fido won’t hurt his little feet on the rubble everywhere. They even throw in some sealed bags…for some reason. And of course, the flame retardant carrying case with storage pockets.

As far as I can tell, the Pet Chime is designed for those who never want a moment of peace ever again. Dogs just can’t reach the doorbell, or maybe they just can’t grasp the concept of a button that opens the door, being attached to the door.

Apparently, the Pet Chime can be used inside or outside, so that your pets can inform their owners when they would like to be inside or out. As every pet owner knows, that would be every five minutes…for the rest of your life. The “paw” doorbell component operates on a 9-Volt battery, the ringer operates on three AA batteries. It will only cost you $25-$30 USD to never again be able to relax.