Like a bitchy supermodel the Pantech Slate is claiming to be the world’s thinnest device with a QWERTY keypad. Priced at $49.99, you’ll need a two-year agreement and mail-in rebate for AT&T subscribers. Sporting black and royal blue, it comes with a 1.3 megapixel camera, instant messaging, Mobile Email and Bluetooth. It will be available by the end of this month.

Sony’s patent application for a haptic touchscreen composed of “tactile pixels” shows former Sony Computer Entertainment chief Phil Harrison as the inventor. It also has a bunch of references to potential use in “a game device” and to “game events,” so it seems fairly obvious that it was developed as an idea for PSP.

The patent app describes a haptic feedback system that seems pretty complicated. The pixels themselves are capable of moving up and down, providing feedback to user actions. It’s certainly interesting, but we’re not gonna hold our breath waiting for this to hit the consumer market anytime soon. We wouldn’t mind being wrong though.

Honda is known for it’s cars and motorcycles, but the company’s sights reach into other areas as well. Now that they have their robot, Asimo walking on his own, Honda is using robotics technology for some other things. Like an experimental walking assist device for disabled or elderly individuals.

Honda will be showcasing the device at the International Trade Fair on Barrier Free Equipments & Rehabilitation for the Elderly & the Disabled. The device is available in three sizes and uses brushless DC motors powered by lithium ion batteries that will provide up to two hours of walking assistance per charge. The assimilation of our elderly will soon be underway. Soon after they will be flying around in giant Borg cubes and harassing the Enterprise.

You would think that after years of fancy Doctor school, surgeons would know better then to sew you back up with say, a sponge or other equipment inside of you. These bozos are basically using their patients for mobile storage of their equipment. At least we can now do something about the sponges. The idea is that every single sponge has to be accounted for. You can’t rely on nurses to manually count the sponges before and after an operation. They’re too busy admiring and having sex with Doctor Hunk to give a toss.

Rely instead on the Safety-Sponge system from SurgiCount. It uses special bar codes printed on every sponge that are scanned into a PocketPC computer before and after they’re used. Because every single sponge has a unique bar code, the system even alerts the operating room staff if the same sponge has been scanned twice. So now you know. There is no longer any reason for these quacks to leave sponges inside of you. Other tools are still fair game, though. Like those tweezers in your abdomen.

If the mpion MP3 player didn’t remove your hardcore teen acne, try this Zeno device. It claims to be an acne Clearing device, that will improve your complexion. In fact, it’s the 1st FDA approved home gadget to remove acne.

The tip heats up when applied to a pimple. Supposedly that will cause some sort of a shock to the bacteria that causes acne. They claim that “two to three 2 1/2 minute treatments spread over 24 hours are sufficient for most pimples” and most pimples will disappear. There’s no question that this is the geeky gadget way to remove acne, but does it work? I think if ANYTHING worked the way they claimed, there would be no need for this product. It retails for $184.95.

Stores and malls in England have been using an ultrasonic device known as the Mosquito Alarm to keep kids from loitering. Because everyone knows that kids are just large insects with ipods and skateboards. It emits a high-frequency noise which is audible and unfriendly to young ears, but people over 20 usually can’t hear it. (I know there’s a Logan’s Run joke there somewhere.)

This is the same frequency that kids have been using for their cellphone rings, so older people don’t know when they have incoming calls. Anyway, there is now an uproar from the children’s commission for England and groups like civil liberties group Liberty. Their campaign is called “Buzz Off”. The device effects everyone under 25, and guess what? That includes babies. Then they site that it discriminates against all kids, whether they’re bad seeds or not. Obviously, they have some valid points. I propose that anyone who turns 30 needs to be introduced to carousel and euthanized. Should they run, a sandman needs to be dispatched who can shout, “We’ve got a runner.” and go for their blaster. Ah…There’s the joke.