Geeks with no Dark lord to bow down to will want to hang this Darth Vader clock on their wall. Then once a day bow down on one knee and ask “What is thy bidding master?”. That’s probably when your mom will sound off from the other side of your door and tell you to do some laundry. That is thy bidding.

This clock is actually kind of sad. Vader just looks silly impaled with clock hands on his forehead. It’s from England’s Wesco Limited and measures over 6 inches tall, features glowing red eyes, and includes a Vader sound effect. It also requires 3 x AAA batteries. It will cost you $34.99 in disposable geek income.

Don’t we always have you covered on the latest Star Wars stuff? Does an ewok poop in the Forest of Endor? Yes and yes. I present to you a Darth Vader that’s been bronzed heavier then George Hamilton in the Bahamas. It’s the work of Lawrence Noble and will cost you $18,000. The limited edition weighs in at 4 feet tall and 150 lbs.

I don’t know what you would do with it aside from admiring it’s bronz-i-ness. I suppose you could kneel before it and profess your love of the dark side and ask your master what his bidding is for you on that day. I guess you could sit it across from a statue of the Virgin Mary and call the news when they both start to cry, then charge for admission. That’s what I would do. Lord Vader is available from the official Star Wars webshop.

Only Darth Vader could be so evil as to offer up a radio/CD player combo in the age of digital music. Such is the dark side. The crappy sound quality will make you suffer, suffering will lead to hate, hate will lead to anger and anger will lead to fear and before you know it you’re the latest Sith apprentice. Still, there’s always something cool about having Darth Vader’s helmet nearby.

And despite the fact that it plays CDs and offers the radio, it does have the option to connect your MP3 player so I guess it’s not all that bad. It’s got six buttons to control the music plus two apparently hidden inside the mouth for some reason. As an added bonus, when you play a CD you can see it spinning in Vader’s eyes with have red LEDs. Requires 6 x LR14 batteries. The price? $88 Yeah, Vader is evil. Am I gonna pay $88 for a CD player? I think not.

This Star Wars Tie Fighter webcam perches on your monitor because it knows about your plans to blow up the Death Star. Thats because the TIE Fighter Advanced X1 webcam is not just a Tie Fighter, it’s Vader’s Tie Fighter.

The pint sized dark side vehicle captures audio, video and images, and also lights up and features digitized sound effects taken directly from the Star Wars movies. Wesco Limited has started production on them, and you can pre-order them now for about $42 USD. This will likely end up in your rain gutter chasing an X-Wing as you pretend it’s the Death Star Trench. You know the force compels you to order one, so hop to it.

So you’re chillin’ with your Clone Trooper laptop, wearing your flannel like George Lucas and waiting in line for that new Ewok action figure that has a big release today. But what you need is some tunes.

This is what you want right here. A Star Wars mp3 player. The front features a close-up of Darth Vader with glowing red eyes, which is cool, but sadly, this MP3 player only features 512MB of memory and a display that looks like it’s 30 years old. It does come with a built-in radio however. It’s currently out of stock at Amazon.co.uk, but ForbiddenPlanet will release a similar product shown above for about $80 US at the end of the month.

What am I always saying? If you want a geek’s money, brand it Star Wars and put it in a bubble on a card. Geek money is now your money. The Adidas Superstar X Star Wars shoes come in black or white, black being much cooler since they are accented to look like Vader’s helmet.

They are a very limited edition and probably gone already. They did a great packaging job since this is gonna remind every geek of the action figure packaging. I’m sure many will buy these just to keep them in the package and take up more space in their mother’s house.

I choose neither the light or the dark side, instead preferring to the subtle arts of the Geek side. Which is why I love these Star Wars USB hubs. Best of all, no Jar-Jar or Ewoks. Just your favorite droid and your favorite Sith Lord. The details are super nice too.

Both feature four full-speed USB ports in front. We think R2’s head moves every 3 minutes and lights up, and both have sound effects from the movies so you can re-inact scenes as often as you like. They’re Japan only for now, but it’s only a matter of time. Oh yes, I will have one.

This really happened…And not in a galaxy far far away, but in England… Jedi Master Hehol, a hairdresser, who founded the first British Jedi church was giving a TV interview for a documentary, when suddenly a drunk Darth Vader wearing a garbage bag appeared and kicked his ass not with a lightsaber, but with a metal crutch.

I guess that says alot about free speech in the Empire these days. The Jedi Master was no match for the Dark Lord of the Sith and after Vader took care of the Jedi geek, he attacked the TV crew and a hairdresser.

This thing looks like a Stormtrooper that displeased Darth Vader and got stomped on with the Force. It’s actually part of the official Star Wars Golf gear. That’s right, now you can proclaim your love for a galaxy far far away on the Golf course. Does this product belong in the rejected Star Wars pile? You be the judge.

You have a choice of Stormtrooper white or Darth Vader black. They’re made in Japan and apparently the quality is good. They should go on sale soon for about $500. With this gear AND the Force, you will rule the green. But always be on the lookout for Ewoks, the deadliest enemy the Empire has ever known.(And not bad golfers themselves.)

No matter what the movie or property, there are always some ideas that just don’t fly. Especially when it comes to the mega-merchandising of Star Wars. Some are neat, while some are better left unspoken of. Back in 1999 when Jar Jar was born, Pepsi and Lucasarts brainstormed and came up with a bunch of Star Wars promotional products. These are the rejects.

How about a Han Solo carbonite fridge? The Death Star cooking meat in the form of a grill? It’s a shame that these never came to be. I mean, how cool is an AT-AT Walker chair caddy? Or a Darth Vader gumball machine that dispenses mini death stars. See them all after the jump.

What happens in Bespin stays in Bespin. When you are taking in Cloud city, otherwise known as Bespin, and you sit at the table to play a round of cards hoping to score a Millenium Falcon, you don’t want to use boring old poker chips. You want the power of the force. You’ll need it too, players like Lando and Han are tough. How do you think they won the ship?

The set even features a chrome dealer token that looks like the Death Star, plus a set of translucent chips illustrated by artist Russell Walks. You get 50 blue Luke Skywalker chips, 50 blue Obi-Wan Kenobi chips, 50 green Yoda chips and of course 50 red Darth Vader chips. The case even has 72 LEDs that make the chips glow like lightsabers when they’re stacked in their slots. Now that should make other players quake in their boots. The fun doesn’t end there. You also get 2 casino-quality card decks that come in their own foil boxes.