UPDATE: Turns out this is a hoax.

Is your girlfriend telling you that you are not up to the challenge in the bedroom? Do you need some kind of lovemaking coach? This completely ridiculous product wants to train you in the art of love. The LoveTrainer, from Sega (which looks incredibly similar to the FiTrainer from iTami) is basically a set of headphones that you and your awkward lover wear in the bedroom. It plays music and helps you along with such inspirational statements as “The foreplay, will now begin!” and “You are making love, at a very good pace!”

Look, if you need this device, you should never ever touch a fellow human being, because you are some sort of human abomination, in the bedroom and out. That goes for you and your lame lover. Seriously, the pair of you should just invest in some old fashioned porn. If that still doesn’t teach you, then please stop trying to reproduce.

It’s nice to see video game companies getting more into fitness, since they are responsible for much of the lard on couches across America. Ubisoft just announced a new title that should be available this summer called My Weight Loss Coach. The game is targeted at both casual and overweight players. The idea is to use customizable coaching sessions and a pedometer accessory to track physical activity.

The pedometer can be synced to the DS, and will help you keep track of daily physical effort, but it also goes a step further, helping you balance your food intake.