So, it’s time to upgrade from the Umbuster Umbrella as it’s only appropriate for breaking jaws in the rain. But what could deliver more destruction in a more compact package? Well, the Blast Knuckles will deliver a promised stun power of 950,000 volts. That’s enough to shock a cartoon soul right out of anybody and watch it play the harp all the way up to heaven.

If you use these, I would advise running like hell and changing your name as you will probably be charged with murder soon. Seriously, this is insane. Only use this in self defense and don’t zap yourself. Appropriately, the blast knuckles aren’t legal in all fifty states in the US, though you could probably still buy it for $50.

Remember the Umbuster? That umbrella that keeps you dry and provides a handy pair of brass knuckles is actually available for sale now. It has gone from concept to actual product, making rainy nights far more dangerous around the world.

Feel free to now equate rain with pain my friends. Old man and woman crime against the young will soar. I actually fear rainstorms now. It will cost you $287 and may give rise to gangs of elderly bullies walking wet streets, swinging these things around like beat cops itchin’ for some action.

Whether you’re an off duty Ninja just staying out of the rain, or that guy from the Avengers, the Umbuster umbrella should keep you protected by giving you a pair of brass knuckles. Even though these aren’t brass. Instead you have a choice of wood or aluminum finish.

I’m not sure how easy it is to hit another guy with the bottom part of an umbrella while open though. Wouldn’t you hit yourself with the top part as you swung at your enemy? I would recommend this for little old ladies. They need to protect themselves, plus they just plain love hitting people with purses and stuff. You can get the Umbuster in October for about $330.